I just can't...

seem to find joy right now.  I think it is the hormones from weaning AG for a trip that I didn't end up taking.  It could also be that I am uninspired by work but MUST work because of the choice we have made for Snicks to pursue his PhD full-time.  Or, maybe it's because that lack of inspiration has led to lack of motivation at work which I was called on by my boss yesterday.  Or, maybe it is because I just can't seem to get my arms around everything that there is to do, especially when my arms just want to be around my husband and daughter.  I need to stop reading blogs for awhile, especially those of the SAHMs (sorry, no offense ladies, I still love you all!).  Just as before we had AG I desperately wanted to have a baby - now I desperately want to have the ability to stay home and care for my daughter.  The difference is that I had hope that we would conceive and enjoyed reading the blogs of those who had made it to the "other side".  Now, I have no hope of staying home (at least not in the next three years) and reading about others' time with their children is like a punch in the gut.  I am already saddened enough with not knowing what AG's favorite toys are, where she learned that cute dance move, and who showed her how to spin around on her toes. 

I am thankful that I have such a loving husband who has miraculously known the right words to say or that I need a hug from AG and him at just the right time in the last few days. 

* Picture/quote found on pinterest: http://pinterest.com/pin/45880489923324922/

Saturday!

Pretty pumped for this Saturday... here's a clue as to why I am so excited:

I am so thankful for our blogging community. 

Weaned?

Addie has been only nursing at bedtime for about a month now.  I must admit that it is my favorite time of the day.  We cuddle up - she gets feisty and impatient (so much like her mother) - and then she dozes off to sleep.  I say the Guardian Angel prayer over her and give her a little kiss on the forehead before putting her down in her crib.

Last night was the final nursing and tonight it all ended.  I have a business trip planned next week that will take me away for two nights (my dreams have been focused on being in hotels and unable to find my baby - wonder why...) and she isn't as gentle as she used to be.  I feel pretty selfish and really wish that I could hold out for months, even years, but it is time.

Passed out after her final good-night snack last night.  

She has been pinching and biting more often so some, but definitely not all, of the beauty has begun to wear off.  We are also meeting with an RE in a few weeks to talk about jumping back into the world of TTC and continuing to nurse will probably be frowned upon.  I would LOVE to dive into something full of dairy or at least not feel so limited in my diet (although I don't think I am going to gorge myself on dairy, my gut doesn't like it).  I would also like to be a bit more civically engaged in our new town as urban planning and the like are really my passion.  There is an interesting project happening but all of the meetings overlap with bedtime... which has always included me until this point.  See, I am selfish.

How did she take it?  We started with Snicks rocking her but she was wailing and I couldn't handle it.  So, I decided that I would rock her a bit and just talk with her about what was happening.  Well, she kept pulling her paci out anticipating, but then I would gently put her paci back in and rub her head.  She finally started to relax and then Snicks came in for the final rock and putting her in the crib.  She started to cry, again, which I actually think has more to do with her typically preferring to be with me, but it probably also had something to do with her pre-bed snack walking out the door.  Within five minutes she was asleep.

I will miss her hilarious pre-nursing giggle and am thankful for having one of my lifelong dreams realized.  THANK YOU, LORD, for this gift.

Project: No More White Walls

My parents visited this past weekend and they worked like dogs to help us get some projects done around the house.  The woman cave is currently on the back burner (we discovered some chipping paint on the windowsill that likely contains lead because of the age) but that still leaves plenty of other projects to do!  

The first major project was tackling the wallpaper glue in left in the kitchen.  We couldn't decide on a paint color, but at least there is now primer on the walls.

Kitchen - mid stream of glue removal.  Seriously, we scraped and then sanded that crap.  

Kitchen - now with primer.  You can see the sample colors to the right.  We didn't choose a single one.  I think we are going to end up with a light earthy green... but we'll see.  In an ideal world that wall would just go away :)

The second project was painting our living room of which only half is shown here (it's a weirdly long room).

Living room before.  How depressing...

Living room after - ahh - much better.  What do you think of the absence of the drapes?  I really like the look but we need privacy.  DH wants the drapes up pronto.

Living room view #2.  Couch was protecting Addie's noggin from the stone fireplace.  After is below but blogger is goofing up my captions.  

And the final project was painting our master bedroom.

Bedroom before. 

Bedroom after.  

Clearly the former owners had a thing for cream - EVERYTHING in this house is off-white and cream (all of the trim, the kitchen and bath tiles, the walls, the curtains, etc).  We are so glad to be adding a little color and "life" to this old home.  Now I just need to decide on some art for the walls.

I am thankful that my parents are so gosh darn handy and willing to fly out and work all weekend long!

Project: Woman Cave (1)

Nothing like a little DIY project to get my blogging energy back!  We spent this past weekend sprucing up the "Man Cave" by finally hung Snicks' sport memorabilia up and rearranging furniture.  So, now he's a happy guy.  We also decided that he needed more seating, so we took the futon out of our upstairs guest room aka - my someday "Woman Cave".  Suddenly, I am left with basically a blank canvas (and a whole lotta clutter) and the green light to really make this space mine.

Before we removed the futon, the room looked like this:

I tried to hide the clutter in this pic... look below for the full disaster.  

Once the futon was out we thought, heck, why not tear that hideous wallpaper down (this is the fourth room we've done in the past two weeks).  So, a few tugs and, presto... the current disaster:

The next step will be to steam off the wallpaper backing and glue. What comes after that, however, is still up to Pinterest, I guess.  This will be an ongoing project, so more updates are to come!

I am thankful for Pinterest.  No, really, I am!  I have been so much more inspired to tackle small projects around our house lately.  I don't really have time to read design magazines, so it is really fulfilling to just click around for a few minutes and get (p)interested in something.

Just not that into...

blogging anymore.  I don't know what it is but I can't find the words.  Actually I can't find the emotions, energy, or ideas.  I think my brain is blank.  There is so much to share (not that many are reading anymore) but then again, nothing to share.  Life is full yet mundane.  Blah.

I am thankful that many of my blogging friends keep pumping out inspiring and interesting posts - I am reading even if I am not commenting.  Prayers for each of you!

UPDATED per Brit's comment:

:)

Meeting Mrs. Blondies...

Whoa!  Where has the time gone?  (See below for where I think it has gone).  Addie and I had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Blondie and her cute little K just before Christmas!!!  I hadn't wanted to post then because a) they were traveling and didn't want to spread that info around the blogosphere and b) the holidays are a hectic time.  But, here we are, about a month later... I would say it is time to share!

Sweet Mrs. Blondies was in the Denver area for a few days and we drove down to say hi.  We met at the hotel (where we also met Mr. Blondies and G'pa and G'ma Blondies) and then proceeded to run an errand to Bed Bath & Beyond.  Only, I not knowing the area, didn't realize that there was one just about 5-10 minutes away and proceeded to follow the GPS to one 35-40 minutes away.  Oops!  Oh well, it gave us a bit more time to talk in the car and we even managed to stop at an S'bucks to grab some coffee (where our girls got many ooo's and aaah's - they were quite the pair).  Not surprisingly, Mrs. Blondies is incredibly kind and gracious.  It was a great way to spend the morning!

A quick picture in a parking lot... kind of funny but fitting since we spent so much time in the car.  :)

The blogger babies in the backseat - too cute!

To somewhat justify the time lapse between then and now here's what we've been up to:

• The birth of Jesus - celebration
• Addie's 1st birthday
• Ski trip
• Trip to TX for New Year's
• New daycare
• Start of semester
• Visit from in-laws
• Snicks contracting shingles (likely from Addie's immunization)
• Stomach flu for Addie
• Stomach flu (and passing out) for Snicks

Thankfully, I have today off of work and decided to send Addie to daycare for a partial day so that I can take care of a few things around the house (we haven't dusted in over two months).