A Whole Lotta... Nothin'

I feel like I am on a hyperspeed hamster wheel and have nothing to show for all of my efforts. Nevermind, I take that back. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and are able to live modestly but comfortably. Yes, the fact that it is 85% my income and not Snicks' that pays for this now does fly in the face of what many of you lovelies are able to do. But, life is all about choices and we have made the choice for him to pursue a PhD for the next three-four years. Which means that I must remain gainfully employed and Addie is in daycare.

This is her first week of daycare and, oh, it's been a doozy. When we were still in Ohio she had already transitioned into the daycare there and didn't have any separation anxiety. Well, fast forward a few months and now she barely lets Snicks hold her without crying for me. The first day of daycare was cut short at my lunch hour (I nurse her over lunch) because she was just so incredibly sad. Today was day two and she still cried for most of the day (oh my gosh, this just cuts me to my core) but at least ate a little applesauce and took two naps. She only drank two ounces of my milk all day and her naps were 30 each - ick. She could barely keep her eyes open all night, but is SO overtired that she can't sleep. We caved and she is currently cuddled up on Brett. Hey, he doesn't have class until 5pm tomorrow, so at least two of us can get some good zzz's tonight. (Oh, and we had to do full-time daycare - no option for part-time because of demand). Tomorrow he will feed her and try to get her to nap before taking her in for awhile. It will be a short day, thankfully!

Developmentally she seems to be right on track. Prior to the daycare drama she was just about crawling. Now she's too tired to show us what she's learned during the day. Over the weekend she was army crawling and scooting around so it seems that the real thing is just around the corner. We have a ton of baby-proofing to do - oh goodness! She is saying "hi" when she sees someone which is ridiculously cute. She also loves to laugh but is very selective in who gets to make her laugh. She is just starting to give kisses, too, which are open mouth on the cheek (hey, she has boundaries).

Snics and I are both reading sleep books (Sleep Lady and Healthy Sleep Habits...) and hope to have time over the weekend to discuss and commit to the approach we want to move forward with so that Addie can really learn to sleep. Prior to Monday (the start of daycare), she went down fairly easily after nursing almost completely to sleep. She maybe fusses for five minutes and then she is out. Well, she is out for three to five hours before waking up... and waking up... and waking up. Typically she wakes up three times a night. I nurse her until she falls asleep (hey, I am exhausted and have to be perky the next day) but that isn't always working anymore. She has decided that nighttime now equals playtime and wants to just hang out. I get it. I am gone all day and nighttime is now mommytime. I love it and hate it at the same time.

I have found a church here and it just happens to be about six blocks away from our house. The priest is EXCELLENT. He is funny and also a great teacher. He shows a true respect for marriage and the family - he even has couples stand up if it is their anniversary. I really like that. Addie is my church date and Snicks seems to want to go to the Congregational church up the street but hasn't found the energy to do so. What he really wants is for me (and Addie) to join him which is just so hard. I really love attending Mass (I only wish I have always gotten as much out of it as I do now) and can only see going to church with him if I go on Saturday nights and then we go together on Sundays. He doesn't like that, though, because it makes him feel like I am prioritizing Catholicism above worshiping as a family. But, that's a post for another day...

For all of you who are buying a home or have just moved, I feel your pain. That is truly a whole 'nother post.

Well, I should sign off and get some of the forementioned zzz's. I am so thankful for my sweet baby. Honestly, it has taken me awhile to warm up to her, but something clicked a few weeks ago and we are now best buds. I really don't know what I would do without her.