Weaned?

Addie has been only nursing at bedtime for about a month now.  I must admit that it is my favorite time of the day.  We cuddle up - she gets feisty and impatient (so much like her mother) - and then she dozes off to sleep.  I say the Guardian Angel prayer over her and give her a little kiss on the forehead before putting her down in her crib.

Last night was the final nursing and tonight it all ended.  I have a business trip planned next week that will take me away for two nights (my dreams have been focused on being in hotels and unable to find my baby - wonder why...) and she isn't as gentle as she used to be.  I feel pretty selfish and really wish that I could hold out for months, even years, but it is time.

Passed out after her final good-night snack last night.  

She has been pinching and biting more often so some, but definitely not all, of the beauty has begun to wear off.  We are also meeting with an RE in a few weeks to talk about jumping back into the world of TTC and continuing to nurse will probably be frowned upon.  I would LOVE to dive into something full of dairy or at least not feel so limited in my diet (although I don't think I am going to gorge myself on dairy, my gut doesn't like it).  I would also like to be a bit more civically engaged in our new town as urban planning and the like are really my passion.  There is an interesting project happening but all of the meetings overlap with bedtime... which has always included me until this point.  See, I am selfish.

How did she take it?  We started with Snicks rocking her but she was wailing and I couldn't handle it.  So, I decided that I would rock her a bit and just talk with her about what was happening.  Well, she kept pulling her paci out anticipating, but then I would gently put her paci back in and rub her head.  She finally started to relax and then Snicks came in for the final rock and putting her in the crib.  She started to cry, again, which I actually think has more to do with her typically preferring to be with me, but it probably also had something to do with her pre-bed snack walking out the door.  Within five minutes she was asleep.

I will miss her hilarious pre-nursing giggle and am thankful for having one of my lifelong dreams realized.  THANK YOU, LORD, for this gift.