Always Giving Thanks

Meeting Mrs. Blondies...

2012-01-16T11:25:00.002-05:00

Whoa! Where has the time gone? (See below for where I think it has gone). Addie and I had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Blondie and her cute little K just before Christmas!!! I hadn't wanted to post then because a) they were traveling and didn't want to spread that info around the blogosphere and b) the holidays are a hectic time. But, here we are, about a month later... I would say it is time to share!

Sweet Mrs. Blondies was in the Denver area for a few days and we drove down to say hi. We met at the hotel (where we also met Mr. Blondies and G'pa and G'ma Blondies) and then proceeded to run an errand to Bed Bath & Beyond. Only, I not knowing the area, didn't realize that there was one just about 5-10 minutes away and proceeded to follow the GPS to one 35-40 minutes away. Oops! Oh well, it gave us a bit more time to talk in the car and we even managed to stop at an S'bucks to grab some coffee (where our girls got many ooo's and aaah's - they were quite the pair). Not surprisingly, Mrs. Blondies is incredibly kind and gracious. It was a great way to spend the morning!

A quick picture in a parking lot... kind of funny but fitting since we spent so much time in the car. :)

The blogger babies in the backseat - too cute!

To somewhat justify the time lapse between then and now here's what we've been up to:

The birth of Jesus - celebration
Addie's 1st birthday
Ski trip
Trip to TX for New Year's
New daycare
Start of semester
Visit from in-laws
Snicks contracting shingles (likely from Addie's immunization)
Stomach flu for Addie
Stomach flu (and passing out) for Snicks

Thankfully, I have today off of work and decided to send Addie to daycare for a partial day so that I can take care of a few things around the house (we haven't dusted in over two months).

Upside Down Volcano

2012-01-04T15:14:00.000-05:00

It's my second cycle since Addie's birth and, well, I feel like the title to this post. I am going through two "lines of defense"every.single.hour. I don't remember this happening often since I was young. Hopefully it is just a hiccup. This sucks.

I am thankful that I have the girly parts to make this happen. AND tomorrow I get a CD3 draw. :)

All Wrapped into One (PB Reveal, Christmas, & Happy Birthday AG)

2011-12-26T08:24:00.000-05:00

Hello! I hope you had a Merry Christmas.

First of all - just in case some don't want to read through a baby post, I has the privilege of praying for Anne at The Bazin Chronicles. Although she didn't post much recently, her previous posts are hilarious! She is a great writer and a teacher. So cool. I don't think she is "out" on her blog, so it was special to know that their intention to conceive was being raised up in the blogosphere.

We had a quiet Christmas... just the three of us. It was kind of reminiscent of last Christmas' relaxing celebration (minus my water breaking of course). Here are a few pics of us celebrating:

Somehow she new her favorite toy was in that package.

This is such a rare picture (Addie smiling and me without a too much of a double-chin, bags, etc) - I just had to share.

Melt my heart...

Trying to figure the blocks out

She loves her toys!

I would be remiss to mention that today is AG's first birthday! I will do a separate post with pics afterward (more for my sake than anything). I have been ridiculously tearful when I think about the last year. In particular, I get choked up thinking about labor.

I am so thankful for our little munchkin. Happy Birthday to my daughter.

Menu Monday

2011-12-19T17:15:00.000-05:00

I am sure that I am not alone in trying to find some sort of "easy" way to plan healthy meals for my family. (I hear a lot of "Amen"'s out there). I am trying to create a new system that involves a spreadsheet and links to recipes - see sidebar. Right now I have the following worksheets in the file:

- Meal Ideas: suggestion of combinations of main dish and sides

- Adult Foods: foods that Snicks and I eat, and some that AG can also eat

- Child Foods: foods that are for AG

- Week 1 Menu: main dish and two sides; spaces for adult and child breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner; drop down lists draw from Adult Foods and Child Foods

- Week 1 Grocery List: list of groceries to get by store based upon menu for week (does not include what we already have in the pantry) - colors indicate sales and coupons

Although I like the idea of what I have created, it really doesn't fully do what I want it to which should make it super user friendly. Here's what I want it to do:

- Links will be active even in dropdown lists (now I have to refer to the foods lists for the links to recipes)

- Somehow easily be transposed into a more attractive format (word? mail merge?)

- Some sort of database with type of food, main ingredients, etc which would be searchable

- Shopping list is automatically created from necessary ingredients

Here are my thoughts on resolving the last two on that list:

- Create a new blog that is only recipes, then I can categorize each blog entry which would thereby be searchable

- Create a new worksheet for every.single.recipe that includes a column for number/volume of each ingredient; the grocery list would then sum all of the information in the selected sheets (although I don't know how this would work)

It is functional and useful the way it is right now but I am open to any and all suggestions for those who are more tech savvy than me. :)

I am thankful that we have enough food in our cupboards to eat.

Just for Kicks

2011-12-16T11:07:00.001-05:00

The (not-right-for-us) doctor whom Snicks and I met with had ordered a day 21 test (which, the informed would know it should have been P+7) which I thought I would do, just for kicks. I knew I hadn't ov'd but thought it would be really interesting to see what my progesterone level was at in the middle of a non-ovulatory stage.

0.25

Yep - that is low. Gotta love that there is certainly nothin' happening in my girly parts.

I am thankful that the nurse was very sweet and prepared for me to break down and cry over the phone. P'shaw.

Back in the Game - with additional quip

2011-12-08T17:33:00.001-05:00

Snicks and I are officially back in the TTC game as of today. We have certainly not been avoiding but I am on CD16 of my first cycle since conceiving AG. Fertility Friend kindly kept track of the length of my last cycle for me - a whopping 594 days!

Why today? Well, we met with a doctor here who had been recommended to us by a friend. Turns out she's just into the basics (clomid, salpingograms, etc) and won't be able to do any follistim or hcg triggers. We weren't sure that she would be a good fit before our appointment and now we know for sure that she won't be. She was nice enough to order P+7 blood draws, though, so I'll do that in five days (even though it won't be peak, it will be day 21).

I know it shouldn't bother me because she was just trying to get to know us (and my charts haven't arrived at her office yet), but she kept questioning what I said. I said that I have verified PCOS and that clomid didn't work (we had four 50 mg cycles and one 100 mg cycle). She wanted to know how it was verified and was dubious because I am not overweight. I wanted to scream that average-sized people can have PCOS, too, but I know (now) that this is not her area of specialization. She also said that I need to wean AG before really trying anything in case nursing is causing my ammenorhea. AG is only nursing two times a day - sorry, but I highly doubt that has much, if anything to do with it. I am smart enough to know that not having a cycle until now isn't surprising and that the next few could be irregular even without PCOS.

The kicker was that when we aren't trying to get pregnant (when would that ever be?) I should be "regulating" because not menstruating at least every three months can lead to uterine cancer. So, basically I should be scared into using BC so that I don't get cancer. I almost got up and left but instead I gave Snicks the "is this lady for real?" look. Needless to say, I am writing her off for any substantive services but will happily let her collect my bloodwork from CD21. She also fed me the "pregnancy can improve fertility" line which I equate to the pregnancy after adoption theory. Yes, it happens, but don't live by that motto.

Next steps - start cutting out simple carbs and start charting. Here we go...

I am thankful that years of TTC and reading blogs has made me a little bit of a fertility expert - at least in regards to my own care.

Added quip: OH OH OH... I forgot to add the part where she says, "you're still young, you have plenty of time." Seriously????????

Not a Baby Anymore...

2011-12-01T20:03:00.001-05:00

Our best friends/AG's Godparents had a baby girl yesterday. It made me stop and think about all of the emotions and newness of having an infant in our home. AG turned 11 months last week and it truly is amazing to see all that she is doing. Although it breaks my heart each day, I do think that the exposure to other kids her age at daycare is encouraging her to develop (for better or worse).

She and I were home today because she had a stomach bug yesterday. We were able to spend some time out in the freshly fallen snow.

Then, she really gave us a treat... Snicks came home from his last (teaching) class of the semester and she took her first steps! She had taken one step on two separate occasions in the past two days, but this was the first time that she took consecutive steps. Seriously, where is my baby? She is hiding in the body of an almost toddler!

I am thankful for our new blog.gie camera. It is so easy to use and I am so glad we got it in time for her first steps!

Feeling Loved - All because of a Liebster Award!

2011-11-29T21:37:00.001-05:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you. On the eve of this momentous occasion I'd like to thank the ac.ademy, my husband, Mrs. Hebrews, and you, my faithful readers. ;)

In all honesty, when I started to read Hebrew's post about an award I felt like that kid sitting at the end of the very uncool table in middle school who was once again passed over for something. That is, until I read my name! Admittedly, my heart leapt with joy with the mere thought that a person as amazing as Hebrews would even utter my blog name. Okay, I may be a little dramatic, but I am very happy. THANK YOU, HEBREWS! This is my first award, too.

The Liebster Award spotlights up and coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. In return for the award, the recipient bestows the award on five of their favorite bloggers.

Here are some of my favorite blogs (sorry if this is a duplicate award for you - if it is, you must really be loved!):
Jeremiah 29:11
Beth @ Beautiful Day
Brit @ Small Things, Great Love
Jenny @ All Things
Awaiting a Child of God

Upon receipt of the Liebster Blog Award, there are a few very simple rules:
1: Copy and paste the award on your blog.
2: Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
3: Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4: Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

Jumping Back In...

2011-11-22T23:20:00.001-05:00

TCIE's post about prayer buddies was just the kick start I needed, specifically the line that reads: "We also ask that all bloggers who are not "active" bloggers try to post more regularly during Advent, so that your Prayer Buddy will "get to know you" better." I think that she actually wrote, "especially, you, Thankful the Slacker" and then erased it. :)

Here's a little intro to moi in case my prayer buddy is new to my blog (and a refresher for others). I started blogging in August of 2009. That summer was one of significant change for me. My husband, Snicks, was away for most of the summer and I did a lot of soul searching... which lead me back to the doors of a distant friend, the Catholic Church. I had stopped practicing during my sophomore year of college (there were too many parties to go to and boys to like to spend time feeling guilty) and, although I loved the Church, my choices were swaying me in a different direction. We were married outside of the Church (there is a WHOLE other post needed for this... let's just say I am still learning so much) and he is a staunch Protestant ("my favorite Catholic is Martin Luther.") With him out of town I felt free to explore the religion of my childhood and felt very much at peace.

At the same time we were about a year into our concerted TTC efforts. My doctors suspected PCOS but nobody had confirmed it. An HSG showed clear tubes and Snicks' swimmers are strong and plentiful. We were at the point where we needed to decide how we wanted to navigate the TTC waters. Thankfully, one thing we agreed upon is that IVF was not an option. I started to research Catholic infertility and stumbled upon some amazing blogs. Namely, TCIE, Sew, and a dear former blogger from the South. I decided to start blogging while in a hotel room outside of Madison, WI. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It was intimidating, for sure, but suddenly I became a part of this wonderful community of women supporting and guiding each other. I am convinced that God works through this community continually.

We conceived our daughter in April of 2010 (ahem, Lenten Prayer Buddies) and she was born at the end of December. The journey since then has been a wild ride. We are now living in a different state in our first home with a new job and school for the foreseeable future. Honestly, my faith journey has taken a back seat to the complexities of life and that is definitely something I need a little help with - picking up the prayer and Mass attendance.

So much has changed in this little community. I am so grateful to have graduated from the subfertile group, but it is truly a bittersweet joy. Reading the pain of my sisters certainly gives me cause to question God's intentions and plans. As an eternal optimist with a baby in my arms it is easy to say that the day will come (or not) in God's time. But that is so simple to say from where I sit. So, the only thing I can do is pray, and pray I do!

I like to end my blog posts with something I am thankful for: honestly, I am thankful for this crazy outfit that my MIL bought for AG. Cracks me up! Wish I could wear it, too. :)

Catholic Challenge Quiz...

2011-11-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

Name the performer standing next to a much younger version of me. Winner gets extra prayers for 40 days. :)

Quick Takes (#?)

2011-10-28T23:16:00.000-04:00

--- 1 ---

Our house, blanketed in snow.

Winter Whoop-a$$. We received more than 12 inches of snow in about 12 hours on Tuesday night. Broken trees = broken power lines. :( We were without power and heat for almost 24 hours.

Addie watching the snowflakes fall.

--- 2 ---

We have weaned Addie from her night feedings and made the mistake of substituting cuddles for food. Now we are weaning her off of night cuddles. I feel cruel.

Addie and her daddy. This is actually a mid-morning nap. Darn, they are cute!

--- 3 ---

Two foot-two, eyes of blue. I have to say, my daughter has amazing eyes (she gets them from her daddy). Yes, our wallpaper is hideous. I know.

--- 4 ---

I haven't been to Mass in two weeks. Confession is on the docket for tomorrow afternoon. I really don't like feeling like I am failing God and myself.

--- 5 ---

Addie has discovered that the bathtub is a fun height for "cruising". I just can't believe she is almost walking... my guess is that she'll be fully mobile by Thanksgiving. Ahh! Say it ain't so!

--- 6 ---

My welcoming committee as I got home from work last weekend. Nothing like falling in love while walking up to the front door.

--- 7 ---

I officially have baby fever (again). No joke. I look at baby pictures of Addie everyday. I have given a ton of thought and prayer to how/when we'll try again. Although I am impressed with the NaPro approach, I really don't want to take the time to learn Creighton (sorry, TCIE). I thought the nearest practitioner was an hour away, but in reality she is an hour and a half on the other side of Denver which really is prohibitive. But, one of my new friends used a doctor here who is doesn't do IVF, so I am going to contact her. Doesn't hurt that her office is four blocks from our house, either.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Thankful Thursday (1)

2011-10-20T14:02:00.003-04:00

It is only fitting that someone named "Thankful" would participate in Thankful Thursdays, right? Thanks to Donna for introducing me to this via her link to The Road Home.

I am thankful for:

Weather - the weather in Colorado is SO much better than northern Ohio (sorry, Donna). It seems that we have sunny days 6 out of 7 days a week. No wonder I am in such good spirits.

Snicks - Addie is being weaned off of her night feedings so Snicks has been getting up with her each night when she wakes up. Let's hope this doesn't last too much longer.

Dreams - I STILL don't have a period (really, not a shocker) but I dreamt that I had a gallon of flow and then passed out. I was actually scared to wake up and discover it was true (or that I had wet the bed - neither happened). BUT - the dream gives me hope that maybe my body is starting to chug into action.

Appliances - A new range was delivered to our house yesterday to replace a worn-out workhorse that I think was original to the house. The fabric oven door seal was pretty much gone and the handles were being held together with scotch tape. I kid you not. Now I have a shiny one that matches our new fridge (which replaced the one which had melted through the carpet and pad). Contentment in the kitchen.

A - She has been showing us more of her personality lately. Tenacity is definitely one of her traits. Just ask the little boy who tried to take a toy from her at daycare yesterday. She was having none of that and played tug-of-war until she won. I think I am proud of this!?!

I am thankful for my readers (whoever you are!).

Thoughts for Thursday

2011-10-13T15:33:00.001-04:00

For more Thoughts for Thursday, head on over to the lovely ladies at Building Cathedrals.

What am I cooking? Nothing! Tonight I am heading out to meet some other moms. I found them via meetup.com and, although I am a bit nervous, I am so excited to try making some new friends. It’s been lonely here. Snicks has class until 8pm, so a distant cousin of Snicks is going to watch A for me.

What are my weekend plans? A is going to meet her great-grandma for the first time! My mom, her mom (my grandma), and two of my grandma’s friends will be visiting with us for the weekend. I am really looking forward to it, although hugely disappointed in myself that the house is far from spotless. So, this weekend they have agreed to help us to a good fall cleaning (as well as dote on A). Also, Snicks and I are heading to a hotel on Saturday night and my mom is going to take care of A! It will be our first night without the munchkinator. I think I am ready (kind of, okay… not really).

What are my prayer intentions for the day? For Snicks – he has had a plugged ear for almost two weeks and is pretty miserable; for Kaitlin – that God’s plan for them includes a perfect job for Ted very soon; for Jelly Belly and her journey; and for the rest of my sister bloggers (that’s you!).

What can my children do instead of watching TV? This isn’t really applicable since A’s screen time is limited to skypeing with our families. But, instead of being in the exersaucer or jumperoo? A has been pulling herself up and starting to “walk” around the edges of our furniture. I am just so in awe when I watch her learning new things.

What have I done for my marriage this week? I cut Snicks’ PB&J in half today. I kid you not, that is a big deal. I also sat patiently after dinner for 15 whole minutes last night while we had a conversation about current events. It was fun! Embarrassingly, I was a bit tuckered out and may have started to nod off when he was in the middle of a diatribe… oops. Either way, I know he appreciated having a normal conversation with me.

What am I reading? Blogs more frequently – heck, I am even commenting sometimes! J Also, my job provides me with a free subscription to the Chronicle of Higher Education, which I find to be so interesting. What? Did you think I would have actually read a book? Ha!

What is challenging me lately? Coming to terms with the fact that life is just always going to be this crazy as long as I am working full time and Snicks is in school. For someone with honest to goodness OCD it is really hard to accept that I will not be able to get the dishes done every night as well as everything else that has to be done. Last night I woke up at 2am trying to come up with a plan to get it all done. Unfortunately, I think I just need to accept things the way they are and pray for grace while doing so.

Something that made me think? Florida’s governor made a comment about not needing more anthropologists (his daughter’s degree is anthropology) and instead we need more scientists, engineers, technology, and math degrees (STEM). I definitely see the need to make sure that our workforce is developed in a way that encourages us to keep up with the rest of the world but I take issue with the implication that liberal arts degrees don’t equal jobs. I also think that when education is so narrowly focused then we lose sight of the basics, like writing, which is instrumental in most if not every job.

I am thankful for my job.

Restart

2011-10-10T22:34:00.005-04:00

I feel like I need a blogging "restart". The rest of my life has been in a state of flux for the past six months or so and this little blog has suffered (ha - does that mean that a lot of readers aren't suffering?). Things are s-l-o-w-l-y improving here and I am just going to leave it at that. In fact, we are starting to feel so settled that our quiet thoughts of expanding our family are becoming loud booming voices. Like Sew, when I look at my little girl my uterus aches. I wish I could say that I am grateful for Addie but that diminishes how joyful she makes my entire being. Please, God, bless us with more children!

So, what is a lactating subfertile PCOSer to do? Sitting back and doing nothing would completely go against my style. Even if I am not going to act on a plan, I like to have a plan. Does that make sense? Here's my list:

- Gear up for the low-GI diet again (plan to start when Addie weans)

- Find a fertility doctor (see question below)

- Have a period already. I thought I maybe had one six months ago but b'feeding 5-6 times a day plus PCOS seem to be a great combination for staving off CD1.

We are certainly one of the lucky families who have been able to bring a child into our home and hearts. I feel greedy because I want (many) more and there are still people out there who have none to hold. I think that the guilty/greedy part of me wants a restart on how we make babies, too. Well, not at the really basic level but by choosing who our doctor is when we try again. When I called our last doctor (whom we really loved and who respected our no-IVF wishes) the receptionist would answer "Blah-blah-blah IVF Clinic". Not exactly what we are completely looking for this time around. Since we've moved halfway across the country we need to find a new doctor anyway.

I like the idea of choosing a doctor who doesn't do IVF, but so far the only option seems to be the NaPro doctor about 1.5 hours away. Although I still appreciate the time that TCIE took to teach me about Creighton, I really don't want to learn a new charting method (I do sympto-thermal) and abstaining for a month would be challenging given that Snicks doesn't feel as strongly about being anti-IVF doctor (he is not for IVF, just to be clear). Could I go to a NaPro doctor but still use sympto-thermal? Is it worth driving 1.5 hours for a clearer conscience, or should we just go down the street?

I am so thankful that my ovaries (finally) popped out an egg 20 months ago and gave us our little pumpkin!!!

Prayer Buddy Reveal

2011-09-30T09:17:00.003-04:00

I had the privilege of being "introduced" to and praying for Lisa at Magdalene Joy. She has known heartache that I have not so I looked to a leader to help me find the right words to pray for her. She also happens to be a MINNESOTAN!!! Yay! She is the second fellow Minnesotan I have been able to pray for (God works in mysterious ways... :)).

When I "met" her she was physically still recovering from a miscarriage. When I read that, I worried that I did not have the spiritual strength to prayer for someone with such a recent loss. I was inspired by the optimism of all who were meeting for World Youth Day in Madrid and decided to pray for the intercession of Blessed John Paul II on the behalf of Lisa. My prayer was for healing and strength in the wake of her miscarriage. I was so surprised to learn that she had conceived and typically my pride would say "heck yes, another prayer buddy pregnancy chalked up to me." But, I know from reading that this pregnancy brings with it a considerable amount of anxiety and worry for Lisa, so instead I ask that we all continue to lift her, ALL of her children, and her husband up in prayer.

I am thankful that I was able to put so much spiritual effort into this round of prayer buddies.

The Power of Prayer

2011-09-15T21:43:00.006-04:00

An example of the fun to be had at Daddy Daycare. :)

I hit a low spot last night. I have known it was looming in the distance for awhile now - the stress of the move, new job, less income, mortgage, and a daughter who refuses to like daycare (but does like all of the communicable diseases there, including thrush) have all been weighing heavily on me. I have been trying to be upbeat and think "this, too, shall pass" but there is really only so much that I can take.

So, yesterday was the day it came crashing down. I dropped Addie off at daycare (which is the start of her four hour cryfest that lasts until lunchtime) and got into work at 8:06am which, unfortunately, is late and usual for me. I just can't seem to get into the office on time no matter what I do. Tears welled in my eyes and I just couldn't shake the feeling that something had to give. I soldiered on for the morning and then headed to the daycare to feed my sweet little munchkin. I could hear her wails as I walked through the first set of doors. I try my hardest not to act like a crazy woman when I walk in but, honestly, I think I rip her out of their hands every time. We escape to a quiet room and she nurses, poorly, but at least she nurses. (She has been refusing to take a bottle or nap at daycare since she started a month ago so dehydration is a big concern of ours). After spending a half hour with her I rushed home to pick up Snicks, who then drops me off at a lunch meeting. I beg him to go and pick her up right away (he is home on M, W, F to prep for classes, grade, and do his homework) and he assures me that she won't be there all day.

I wait until 2pm to call Snicks to see if he already has Addie - not yet but he is going at 3:30pm. I manage to convince him that he should stop by my office so that I can nurse her instead of pumping. He needs to see his advisor who is also in my building, so it is not a tough sell. I try not to get too excited, but as soon as I here them coming down the hallway my whole outlook changes. She nurses while Snicks goes to see his advisor. Then she and I go in search of him (collecting many compliments on her cuteness... she really is cute... along the way). We kill some time talking with professors but by 4:00 I know I need to get back to work for another hour.

- tick-tock - The clock moves so slowly but finally it is 5:15 and Snicks drives up with Addie for a switcheroo. He goes to class and she and I head home. I have been fighting tears all day long and finally I let loose when I get home. Thankfully, once Addie is nursed, fed, bathed, clothed, and nursed again she is asleep. My best friend from childhood calls (in response to my desperate text earlier in the day) and she talks me down from my cliff.

Snicks comes home at the end of the conversation and we have a heart to heart. We decide that Addie needs to try a new daycare or care situation. The worst case scenario has her home with him M, W, F and we find a babysitter for T & R. I cry some more about my vocation, we pray together, and I start to feel a little peace.

Today, I dropped Addie off knowing that only two weeks remain at the current daycare (we have to give two weeks noticed and just paid for the remainder of the month). When I arrived at lunchtime, however, she wasn't crying. I didn't cave, though, and expressed my concerns with the director. She agreed that Addie has not been transitioning well but asked me to give her more time. I said we'd give it another two weeks and see how it goes. She asked if I prayed about this (of course!) and then asked to pray with me about the situation. I cried, of course, but then felt a sense of peace.

When I arrived tonight to pick her up she was playing and smiling with the ladies in the daycare office. I just about fell over. 9 times out of 10 she is bawling when I arrive and she has always started crying when she sees me. Not today. She actually cried when we walked out the door. I know it is the power of prayer.

Thank you, Lord, for giving us at least one good day at daycare and easing this worn out momma's heart.

PS - I would be remiss not to mention the power of prayer in the life of one dear blogger: Hebrews!

A Whole Lotta... Nothin'

2011-08-23T23:19:00.002-04:00

I feel like I am on a hyperspeed hamster wheel and have nothing to show for all of my efforts. Nevermind, I take that back. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and are able to live modestly but comfortably. Yes, the fact that it is 85% my income and not Snicks' that pays for this now does fly in the face of what many of you lovelies are able to do. But, life is all about choices and we have made the choice for him to pursue a PhD for the next three-four years. Which means that I must remain gainfully employed and Addie is in daycare.

This is her first week of daycare and, oh, it's been a doozy. When we were still in Ohio she had already transitioned into the daycare there and didn't have any separation anxiety. Well, fast forward a few months and now she barely lets Snicks hold her without crying for me. The first day of daycare was cut short at my lunch hour (I nurse her over lunch) because she was just so incredibly sad. Today was day two and she still cried for most of the day (oh my gosh, this just cuts me to my core) but at least ate a little applesauce and took two naps. She only drank two ounces of my milk all day and her naps were 30 each - ick. She could barely keep her eyes open all night, but is SO overtired that she can't sleep. We caved and she is currently cuddled up on Brett. Hey, he doesn't have class until 5pm tomorrow, so at least two of us can get some good zzz's tonight. (Oh, and we had to do full-time daycare - no option for part-time because of demand). Tomorrow he will feed her and try to get her to nap before taking her in for awhile. It will be a short day, thankfully!

Developmentally she seems to be right on track. Prior to the daycare drama she was just about crawling. Now she's too tired to show us what she's learned during the day. Over the weekend she was army crawling and scooting around so it seems that the real thing is just around the corner. We have a ton of baby-proofing to do - oh goodness! She is saying "hi" when she sees someone which is ridiculously cute. She also loves to laugh but is very selective in who gets to make her laugh. She is just starting to give kisses, too, which are open mouth on the cheek (hey, she has boundaries).

Snics and I are both reading sleep books (Sleep Lady and Healthy Sleep Habits...) and hope to have time over the weekend to discuss and commit to the approach we want to move forward with so that Addie can really learn to sleep. Prior to Monday (the start of daycare), she went down fairly easily after nursing almost completely to sleep. She maybe fusses for five minutes and then she is out. Well, she is out for three to five hours before waking up... and waking up... and waking up. Typically she wakes up three times a night. I nurse her until she falls asleep (hey, I am exhausted and have to be perky the next day) but that isn't always working anymore. She has decided that nighttime now equals playtime and wants to just hang out. I get it. I am gone all day and nighttime is now mommytime. I love it and hate it at the same time.

I have found a church here and it just happens to be about six blocks away from our house. The priest is EXCELLENT. He is funny and also a great teacher. He shows a true respect for marriage and the family - he even has couples stand up if it is their anniversary. I really like that. Addie is my church date and Snicks seems to want to go to the Congregational church up the street but hasn't found the energy to do so. What he really wants is for me (and Addie) to join him which is just so hard. I really love attending Mass (I only wish I have always gotten as much out of it as I do now) and can only see going to church with him if I go on Saturday nights and then we go together on Sundays. He doesn't like that, though, because it makes him feel like I am prioritizing Catholicism above worshiping as a family. But, that's a post for another day...

For all of you who are buying a home or have just moved, I feel your pain. That is truly a whole 'nother post.

Well, I should sign off and get some of the forementioned zzz's. I am so thankful for my sweet baby. Honestly, it has taken me awhile to warm up to her, but something clicked a few weeks ago and we are now best buds. I really don't know what I would do without her.

Boo!

2011-07-21T22:36:00.003-04:00

Scared ya? I'll bet you thought I was long gone, lost in the mountains of our new home state of C.olorado. Well, I have been lost in the mountains... of boxes and packing paper and HR forms and diapers. I have been diligently reading and a complete failure at commenting. Until our house has some semblance of order I don't really see that changing, either. Sorry!

I wish I had the energy to talk all about what the last month has brought, but honestly, I have been hanging onto the edge of exhaustion for weeks. I just ask that you pray for the soul of Brett's grandfather and also for his widowed-for-the-second-time grandmother. He is greatly missed, even though Parkinson's had stolen his motor skills years ago.

Also, please pray that I get my butt into a pew this weekend. It has been a WHOLE month since I went to Mass (guess I will have to get myself into a confessional first). No good reason other than exhaustion and a whirlwind of moving activities - which are not good reasons, just my excuses.

Keep on, keepin' on, blogger friends!

I am thankful that our "stuff" finally arrived and that we now have internet!

Friday Quick Takes

2011-06-24T14:17:00.005-04:00

1 - Our apartment is empty, save for one closet of things going with Snicks in our car and one closet of things that Addie and I will bring on the plane. In a week we will be settling into our new home in Colorado. Wow. I have been running on adrenaline and I think I am starting to crash.

2 - My boss just came in and informed me that I need to work next Tuesday night. They have never asked this of the gift officers before so I am trying to be compliant (I think we are calling alums for an end of the fiscal year push). However, Snicks leaves on Tuesday morning and Addie can only stay at daycare until 6pm. feel so grateful that 99% of the time I am not a "solo" mom. My heart goes out to those who grapple with such issues on a regular basis.

3 - My sister, "Boogs" (because she IS a booger, not because she ever ate them - I promised I wouldn't tell), had a bloodtest last week to check her hormones because they suspect PCOS. She spotted for ten days, then had a heavy flow for four days, "normal" flow for a day, and then brown spotting for two days. On the third day of heavy bleeding is when she had the labs done. Here are the results: glucose (fasting) = 78, FSH = 4.7, LH = 5.9. Any thoughts on this? Her doctor said "you're fine" but so much spotting seems unusual.

4 - I am currently b'feeding Addie in my office. Yep. Remedy for meltdown (see #1) is to invite DH to drop off daughter for a feeding. Kind of frowned upon here, but it is just the secretaries and me in our suite today. LOL

5 - Snicks and I had a date night the other day. Well, it was more of a moving prep night together but it was just the two of us. It felt so strange but good.

6 - Addie hits the 6 month mark on Sunday. Here's a picture that I took with my camera phone the other day. I think it's sweet, just like her.

7 - Seven more days in Ohio!!!!!!!!

Blogger Meeting!

2011-06-15T15:56:00.003-04:00

On the way to my car after a little lunch time visit with Addie I spotted a Baltimore Oriole. To be honest, I have never seen one before so I took it as a gentle reminder that I really need to post about meeting Donna from What if God Says No (she posted about orioles here). I remember reading this post by her and thinking, geez, she must really live nearby because those nasty birds are about a 40 minute drive from where I live. We finally decided to meet up which makes her the 5th (!?!) blogger I have had the privilege to meet (added to JBTC, TCIE, Sew, & Jenny - quite a list!).

So... my impressions? Well, I never had an older sister but if I did, I would want her to be just like Donna. Well, better, yet, I think I would just like Donna to be my older sister. Seriously. She is warm, interesting, confident, down-to-earth, and, wow, you can just tell that God is working through her and doing great things. Her hobbies and interests are fascinating, and I could tell that she truly gives all of herself to the things she loves. *sigh* now if only we had met sooner!

I am so thankful for the relationships that have been forged through the blogosphere - you ladies are simply amazing.

Giggles

2011-06-09T17:50:00.003-04:00

Just a few giggles to brighten your day!

I Am With You

2011-06-05T10:48:00.005-04:00

"I am with you." That was the theme of the homily this morning and it inspired me to completely change the focus of this blog post. I was going to go on and on about how Snicks left for 10 days in Europe yesterday and I am ALL ALONE WITH Addie!!! We asked my MIL to come out for the week to help out and she declined because Snicks' older sister just had our niece. We also asked one of my good friend SAHM's from SC to visit... but they had a vacation planned. I realize now that I should have written a plea to the blogging world (you all really want to visit Ohio, don't you?). BUT - I digress - the homily today reminded me that I am not here alone with Addie, indeed God is with me and hopefully a portion of the Communion of Saints (now that I know what that means, thanks Leila and JBTC!). He sent His Son to us and, although Jesus has ascended, He is with us!

I hope you are all having a great weekend! I am thankful for sunshine, salvation through Jesus, and flightview (so I could track Snicks' flights as he traveled). I am also thankful for the Johnny Jump-Up, exersaucer, bouncy seat, highchair, playmat, and bumbo - without which I could never go to the bathroom, do laundry, or pick up the chaos in our home!

Did Our Prayers Get Lost?

2011-05-18T14:39:00.004-04:00

I am wondering if God lost our list of prayers for the past five to ten years, found it under a stack of indulgences, and realized, "Oh no, I have totally forgotten about Mr. & Mrs. Thankful". He has then proceeded to pour on the blessings as if they are coming out of a firehose. Needless to say, we are feeling that there is plenty to be thankful for these days. Thanks, again, Prayer Buddy!

It really all started the day that Snicks prayed to Mary with me outside of the fertility clinic; that was last April (Addie was conceived that cycle). Then he went to Mass with me on Christmas (I went into labor that night). And then he went to Mass with me on Mother's Day (he subsequently found our first home that week). Does anyone else see the trend here? I am just sayin'...

I really am bursting with gratitude and thanksgiving right now! I have an amazing husband, we have our beautiful daughter, Snicks got into his first choice PhD program with full funding, I found a job at the same school, we are buying our first home in the neighborhood we want to live in, the sellers are letting us rent for the first month, we found a childcare provider who is on our way to work (which is only 12 blocks from our home), my dad is buying one of our cars, my little sister got married (see Addie's message to her below), we found someone to rent our apartment (we didn't have to, but it's such a special place that we wanted to help the landlord find someone... that and he said he'd give us a $200 finders fee), and it seems as though the moving company will be able to deliver our goods on July 1st! Throughout all of this I keep thinking about Joseph's dreams of 7 years of abundance and 7 years of famine. Perspective, perspective, perspective...
I continue to pray that blessings are poured upon you and all of those who we care about (and those who we don't, too). Lord, please open the wombs and homes of those who seek to be parents. Provide for those seeking to care for their families. And please bless the neediest amongst us.

I am thankful for life!

Things I have been Meaning to Blog About

2011-05-11T22:23:00.000-04:00

Hello! I have been reading, but not posting or commenting. There certainly has been a lot going on in the blogosphere. It really seems as though prayer buddies were an extra shot of hope this past season. That brings me to "thing I have been meaning to blog about" #1: our priest gave a nice homily this past Sunday comparing Emmaus with our "escape" and the Resurrection as hope. His point is that sometimes, when things get difficult (like after the cruxifixion for those in the Bible or "fill in the blank"), we have a place that we know we can escape to; a place where the pain is lessened by distraction, work, etc. For those in the Gospel it was Emmaus. For me it is socializing and organizing. Father said that it is okay to hang out in our own Emmaus for awhile, but it is hard to see the Resurrection if you aren't actively engaged. He said that the Resurrection is our hope and that escaping for awhile is okay, but you must look to God and His Son for hope. Does this make sense? I guess it spoke to me because although life is going well right now it just seems as though there is a whole lot of life to deal with and sometimes I would rather just go to Emmaus rather than have to think about all of it, let alone do something.

Thing I have been meaning to blog about #2: We put an offer in on our first house tonight. I really can't believe it but yet I am not really stressing about it. It is a 1950s ranch style home in a desirable neighborhood. It's not the home we had originally wanted, but this one is actually better because it has fewer repairs that need to be done. It is walking distance to a park and a longer walk (15 minutes) to work. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, and over 3200 sq ft of livable space. We really wanted a home that wasn't pristine so that we could make some easy improvements. This home basically just needs new paint, floors, and, well, you tell me if this wallpaper should come down in the dining room:

Thing I have been meaning to blog about #3: My little sister got married on the 30th! She was beautiful, the service was beautiful, the day was beautiful... ahhh... love.

Thing I have been meaning to blog about #4: AGN was baptized on the 2nd! We were able to have most of our families join us for the ceremony. We chose our best friends to be her Godparents and I am confident that they are going to rock in the role. I cried out of joy for having our daughter become a part of Christ's family.

Thing I have been meaning to blog about #5: I returned to work last Thursday. It actually wasn't as hard to go back as I had anticipated. Does it suck? Yes, definitely. Today was the hardest day, though, because it was AGN's first day of daycare. She will be in daycare three days a week and it BREAKS MY HEART!!!! I held it together pretty well until I saw the director (she used to be in Rotary with me)... then I lost it and she gave me a hug. I felt so helpless and wanted to run back, grab AGN, and live in a cardboard box if that meant she didn't need to be in daycare. Well, my practical side won out and I made it to my 8am meeting on time. When I went to nurse her at lunchtime she was screaming like I have never heard her scream before. I ACHED FOR HER like I have never ached before. I literally ran to her and took her out of the room so that we could have some quiet time together. She nursed like a champ and then we returned to the room to play awhile. She was all smiles when I left and apparently stayed that way for the afternoon. Huh. Hopefully tomorrow is better for both of us.

Well, there is plenty more to write about, but I need to go to bed. Snicks doesn't return until tomorrow afternoon and I need to be sure I am well rested to handle AGN on my own in the morning.

I know I have been distant but please realize that it is not out of lack of care, just lack of time. I treasure each moment I get to spend reading your blogs and praying for you. There seems to have been a cluster of CD1s in the past week. My prayers have been especially fervent for all of you.

I am thankful for all of the blessings that seem to be flowing our way lately. I am also thankful that Snicks attended Mass with me for Mother's Day. It was quite sweet.

Happy Easter - Prayer Buddy Reveal and More!

2011-04-23T15:12:00.003-04:00

Addie and I just made it to Minnesota! My mom met us halfway in Milwaukee so that I wouldn't have to drive the whole way by myself. Phew.

First of all, here are some before and after pics of our food supply before and after Lent. Our "no non-essential grocery shopping" went well. I caved at the end (once we ran out of frozen veggies and fruit) and bought some spinach and pears. That was it! We still have a TON of food left so we are going to try to continue with very little grocery shopping especially since we'll be moving soon.

I had the honor of praying for "The Mom" over at Shoved to Them! Talk about some pressure. She has her mommy game together and has had an exciting Lent.

I am thankful that we made it safely to my parents' home!

We are moving to...

2011-04-22T14:25:00.001-04:00

COLORADO!!!! We aren't sharing this with our families until after May 1st (we don't want to steal my sister's wedding thunder - she gets married in just over a week!) so please no facebook messages. The short story is that Snicks has been offered full funding to pursue a PhD and I have been offered a job at the same university (our offices will actually be in the same building). We are hoping to buy a house and move in ten short weeks. This is a huge undertaking and we welcome many, many prayers for a smooth transition.

Our other option was our home state of Minnesota. Unfortunately, they couldn't guarantee funding for Snicks and the job I applied for is still trying to assemble a search committee. We waited as long as we could to make our decision, hoping that the Golden Gophers would pull through. Alas, it was not to be.

We are actually thrilled with our choice. The town had a great vibe and the university is an excellent fit for both of us.

Thank you, prayer buddy, for your prayers. Now I am off to confession with Addie.

She is My Sunshine

2011-04-14T17:37:00.013-04:00

I was singing to Adelaide along with Elizabeth Mitchell on Pandora the other day and one of my favorite songs of all time came on: "You are My Sunshine". As a little girl my dad would sing this song to me and it has always given me warm fuzzies. As I listened to the words it struck me that the song fits our struggle with PCOS and now having Adelaide pretty well. She is utterly and completely my sunshine. She lights up every day (and night) in a way that I could have never imagined before but not a day goes by that I am not reminded of the dark times when she was merely a prayer. You are My SunshineMy only SunshineYou make me happy When skies are greyYou'll never know, dearHow much I love youPlease don't take my sunshine away The other night, dear, As I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my armsWhen I awoke, dear, I was mistaken And I hung my head and cried.

You are My Sunshine

My only SunshineYou make me happy When skies are greyYou'll never know, dearHow much I love youPlease don't take my sunshine away We are filled with gratitude and awe each day that we have been given Addie. Our prayers are fervent that all vocations of our friends shall be realized (SOON!!!).

Quick Takes - Heavy Hitter Version

2011-04-08T16:11:00.009-04:00

My brain is full and here is just a snippet of what's floating around up there.

1) My heart has been so heavy - please offer a prayer for a friend if you have the opportunity.

2) I have been the worst commenter, emailer, and blogger for the past month. My apologies!!!! I have been reading posts with google reader on my phone and it seems to be such an effort to click over to the actual post so I can comment. I have plenty of posts swirling around, but never take the time to write them down and share them with all of you.

3) Snicks and I are 80% sure that a move is in our near future. We were just out in CO where we both interviewed (he for a graduate assistantship and me for a job similar to what I do now) and had very positive feedback. He received the assistantship and I will likely be getting an offer next week (I know that could sound presumptuous, but my potential boss more or less told me I had it). Now, we just need to decide if the move is what is best for our family. Snicks has family out there, so that is good. Our immediate families are in MN, though (as well as other people we care about, JBTC!) and my heart longs to be back there. THANKS, PRAYER BUDDY, FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!!!

*Note, they were super accomodating about the pumping and there are two other new moms who pump in the office.

4) In order to be best prepared, we hooked up with a realtor while we were in CO and explored the area. We found a home that we both love and it is across a short, dead-end (no zooming cars) street from a park complete with play equipment and a trail. The house has all sorts of charm and plenty of projects to improve it while still being in move-in condition. Here's a pic:

5) Our time in CO came at the end of two-plus weeks of jetsetting for AGN and me. Our first stop was NC, followed by MN, and then CO. She was perfect on two of the three flights which I think makes her a champ.

Snicks and AGN napping in NC.

Pre-security jitters; I wore the moby through security and they didn't notice. Hmm...

Playing with her Grandpa (my dad) with a cute bib taboot.

6) I turned 31 while we were in MN. Typically my birthday meal is a highlight for me (saurkraut, German potato salad, glazed carrots, and brats) but this time it was a visit from JBTC!!! Her pictures are better, so check out her post for a pic.

7) CD1 might have been on my birthday. It was the heaviest spotting I have had since AGN was born but only lasted three days. I had cramps, too. Maybe it's time to start charting again?

ADVICE NEEDED - Pumping and Job Interview

2011-03-19T19:13:00.004-04:00

Oh, boy! First of all, happy Feast of St. Joseph. I am using this day to think of ways to better appreciate and build up Snicks. He is such a good husband and dad - I really am a lucky gal.

Speaking of Snicks, he has been accepted without funding to two PhD programs - one in a state who's bird is the Common Loon and the other in a state where baseball players wearing purple hit balls further. Sorry for the riddles, but I don't want to type them out... (I am being weirdly secretive, sorry).

Anywho, in the past five days I have submitted my resume, had a phone interview, and been invited for an on-campus interview for a position at the school in the state with the purple baseball jerseys. I had no idea that the process would move so quickly otherwise I would have waited to apply. Regardless, we already had plans to visit campus during the first full week of April and now I will have a FULL BUSINESS DAY INTERVIEW with them. That's all fine and dandy, but I am pretty sure that my boobs will EXPLODE if I don't pump at least once. So... I haven't mentioned that I have an infant; it was a big step for me to mention I even have a husband - I just feel like that is information they can learn after they evaluate me on a professional level. But there really is no way that I could make it through the day and remain focused without pumping. An administrative assistant will be contacting me at the start of the week to make arrangements - what should I do?

I can wrap my head around requesting time to pump (although I really don't like the prospect of mentioning this), but what do I do with the pump? And where will I actually pump? Eeek! Any advice you can give will be hugely appreciated!!!!

I am thankful that it seems as though something may be coming together. We are praying hard for funding!!!

EDITED - Here is a draft email that I am considering sending to the assistant:

Dear M,

Hello! It has been nice to speak with you a few times in the past week when making arrangements for the phone interview with V and A. A called me on Friday to request an on-campus interview when we visit the area at the start of April. She said that you will be working on a schedule for the day and will be in contact with further details. Just in case you have most of the day arranged before we speak, I would like to make a request. I have an almost three-month old daughter, A, and will require about a half hour in the middle of the day so that I can pump. I realize that this is a bit of an awkward request and appreciate your help. Please feel free to call me if you have any questions. Thank you.

All the best,
Christina

AGN Apologizes to Prayer Buddy

2011-03-15T14:27:00.003-04:00

Hi, AGN here. I am taking over my mommy's blog for a moment to send my deepest apologies to the nice woman that my mommy is praying for during Lent. I know that the power of prayer is strong (I am here, aren't I?*) and that everyone needs prayers in different parts of their life. Well, my mommy likes to pray for all of my blogger aunties, family, friends, and especially her prayer buddy while I am feeding in the middle of the night. I don't mean to mess up her plans, but I have chosen to sleep through the night three times in the past week. So, that means that her prayers are put off until the morning feeding - not a big deal - but prayer in the quiet of the night is her favorite. Yes, the first time I did it she frantically checked to see if I was still breathing (I was), and now I am trying to make it a more regular occurence. Of course, my already awesome mommy becomes "super mom" after 7-8 hours of solid sleep - daddy likes it, too.

Thank you to whoever is praying for my mommy this Lent. Somedays I make sure she needs all the prayers she can get! Although sometimes I take long naps and allow her the time to doctor up photos (see above) to make you all smile! :-)

I am thankful for my bouncy chair. It makes me happy (and nappy).

* I am not implying that prayer alone can make babies, but it certainly can't hurt!

Plans for Lent

2011-03-08T10:55:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow begins a time of renewal and refocusing in our household. Snicks and I have been inspired by Amberly over at Catholic Mothers Online and will be only buying staples (bread, milk, eggs, and fruit and veggies that aren't freezer-friendly) during Lent.

As you can see below, our cupboards are currently very far from bare and we have been eating out much too often (S.ubway is literally across the street and they have MSPI friendly food). The primary purpose of this exercise is to rid ourselves of excess. There are some secondary benefits, too:

save money (I am currently unpaid for the next two months so we are living on 1/3 of our income),
clean the cupboards out (having four different groups of visitors "help" over the past two months equals disorganization that is driving me crazy), and
prep for a move (location TBD, but we'll definitely be moving this summer whether it is local or interstate).

Here are some pictures to document the "before" - I'll post the "after" following Easter.

We are also turning the mirror on ourselves and will be training to do a 5k in April. I had loosely started training a couple of weeks ago, but need to really pick things up.

I hope that you all have a blessed Lenten season! I am thankful for a chance to reflect and regroup.

Two Months

2011-02-26T15:33:00.004-05:00

AGN is two months old today!

She is our sunshine and greatest challenge at the same time.

We use our nighttime feeding as an opportunity to pray for all who are still praying for a little miracle.

I am thankful for her new sweet smiles.

Quick Takes (Good Stuff)

2011-02-24T20:08:00.002-05:00

1 - the title gets the caps because i am typing with one hand and trying to be quick. :) i will add the quick takes image later if i remember.

2 - snicks got into another phd program (his #1) but we are still waiting to hear about assistantship/fellowship details. please no comments on FB as our families/friends/employers don't know yet.

3 - both schools he has been accepted to have jobs i could apply for - but when should i tell my boss that it's likely we're moving?

4 - AG is going to be two months old on sunday. it feels like two days and two years at the same time.

5 - i will be starting week two of the couch to 5k on saturday. so far so good. picked a race date in mid-april.

6 - AG's persistent diaper rash is finally going away. seems it was a yeast infection. she and i have both been taking cu.lturelle and we've used nys.tatin four times a day on her bum.

7 - i am so ready for spring! a friend lives in north carolina and said that there are signs of spring there. so jealous.

i am thankful for four seasons where we live.

The Soc.ial N.etwork

2011-02-12T16:34:00.002-05:00

Snicks and I watched the movie referenced in this post's title this week. Hmmm... afterward I just about deleted my FB profile. I was disgusted by the character portraying the founder of FB and then my brain started to swirl with thoughts of privacy, etc. Have any of you gone the way of ridding yourself of FB? Would I be throwing myself back into the dark ages by removing my profile?

PROS of Keeping FB Profile
- keep in touch with my cousins/friends
- an almost IRL connection to you lovely ladies!
- sharing pics of AG with family/friends (we do have a family blog for this, though)

CONS of Keeping FB Profile
- privacy concerns
- being too connected

Snicks has never signed onto FB and I am wondering if he was the smarter of us in that choice.

I am truly thankful for technology!

Six Week Checkup

2011-02-08T12:59:00.005-05:00

I passed my six-week checkup with the midwife! The only failure was that I whacked AG's carseat (not her) with my jeans while disrobing which woke her up. Then she proceeded to cry while I was bare-bummed during the appointment. Yet another rookie mom mistake (I have at least ten of those daily).

Now that I am cleared to really workout, if anyone is looking to do the couch to 5k plan, I am planning to start it this weekend and love having "running buddies" (I am having minor surgery on my foot today but should be ready for a run come Sunday). I found a 5K in the area that offers a combined race/buffet option! Heck yes, I will run and then pig out at a breakfast buffet!!! Hopefully it will be the inspiration I need to get in shape for my sister's wedding at the end of April.

AGN does her own little workout.

In other news, Snicks still hasn't heard from anymore schools. I am dying to know if he gets into anymore programs as the Minn.esota program requires that he find his own assistantship and we have to pay the difference between in-state/out-of-state tuition (which stings considering we really are Minnesotans!!!!). If we do end up back in MN, we are considering moving in with my parents (Snicks is up for sainthood if that happens) as they are trying to sell their current home and are looking for one with a MIL-suite for when we visit. I like the idea of having cheap rent and live-in babysitters!

Speaking of cheap rent, that makes me think of saving money. I used coupons at the grocery store for the first time in who-knows-how-long today. When we were first married (and living on less than $20K a year - well, kind of, we ate up most of Snicks savings the first three years) we were crazy frugal. It was certainly difficult for me, but for Snicks it was heaven as he is seriously as frugal as they come (he even re-uses the envelopes that accompany credit card offers). Now that we are facing two months of zero income from me, I am tempted to suggest that we go back to those ways, but it intimidates me. Do I really have time to scour shopping ads, cut coupons, and go to more than one store (even if they are basically next door to each other)? Am I willing to sacrifice eating mostly organic/natural foods for A.ldi produce? Hmmm... Or, should I enjoy this standard of living until we are forced back into grad school poverty?

I am thankful to have a roof over our heads and M.uir Glen soups for the time being.

Huggies & Dreft Coupons

2011-02-01T13:35:00.003-05:00

Hi! I have coupons that I won't be using and thought I'd offer them up to the blogosphere (no use throwing away money! Shoot me an email with your address or leave a comment with your email address if you'd like any of the following (I just have one of each):
- $3 off Dreft
- $2.5o off of Huggies diapers
- $3.00 off of Huggies pure & natural diapers
- $0.75 off of Huggies baby wipes

They expire on 3/31/2011.

I am thankful for packs of coupons - saving money is fun, right?

Quick Takes

2011-01-28T14:59:00.004-05:00

1 - I am liking the Quick Takes approach to blogging these days as I don't have the brain functionality or time to come up with a longer post.

2 - AGN is already a month old! Where has the time gone? For her "birthday" we celebrated by using cloth diapers for a full day and introducing her to a pacifier. Oh, and I gave her a "spa" bath with a nice massage in a cozy, warm room after her bathtime.

3 - Snicks has been accepted to a PhD program... at Min.nesota! Now, it is only an acceptance and we don't know the details of tuition remission/fellowships/etc., but it does give me hope. He has been rejected from two other programs, so we have six more to hear from. Prayers, please, that he gets a sweet deal from at least one of them!

4 - My apologies if my comments have been sparse, minimal, or poorly worded. I am checking blogs and sending many prayers out to the blogosphere. I am using my phone to check blogs most of the time (usually while feeding AGN in the middle of the night) and I don't always have a free hand to type. I have experimented with the voice to text function a few times, but as JBTC could tell you, I don't always spell check! :)

5 - Back to the cloth diapers... after three MAJOR leaks, I realized that I was a little pre-emptive and our wee one needs to wait a bit longer to fit into them. Oh, well, at least we saved a dollar or two for the two days we used them.

6 - I am starting to feel some self-imposed pressure to make sure that AGN is getting smarter. I know, I know, she's just an infant, but I think I am overly worried due to her extended jaundice issues. Here you can see that I have replaced the stuffed animals with extra images from her infant stim mobile. Yep, I am that mom. I cannot say that I have been great about reading to her, though. So, alas, there is a kink in my super mom armor.

7 - We are crazy and going diaperless for at least three hours each day to combat a stubborn diaper rash. Here is AGN surrounded by blankets (to catch the "residue").

Saturday Post #2

2011-01-22T13:45:00.002-05:00

I just had to share this: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/01/21/new-mother-new-word/#more-18545 It made me feel better, especially reading the comments.

Here are my random thoughts somewhat related to this:
- Snicks and I called AGN our niece's name (also a three-syllable A name) for the first couple of days.
- I have broken down on more than one occassion simply because I want to: eat/do laundry/shower/pee and cannot juggle it all at once.
- Why do people want to skype with an infant? Really, she is probably going to be sleeping and possibly feeding whenever we schedule the time and it will be less than exciting. You can tell me how beautiful she is (she really is, isn't she?) for as long as you like, but I don't really want to just sit there and stare at you saying it. Heck, I could be eating/doing laundry/showering/peeing if she is sleeping.
- I have obsessively put visual-stim images all over our home. She's getting smarter, right?

Quick Takes - Saturday Edition

2011-01-22T11:02:00.004-05:00

Does it count if I had these in my head but didn't have time to type them up yesterday?

1) Snicks' basketball team is on a fourteen game losing streak and, miraculously, my super-competitive hubby is completely fine with it. I am baffled, but impressed.

2) All of Snicks' PhD apps are in... now we just wait... and wait... and wait (not that any of us know anything about waiting!). I think we'll start to hear back from programs at the end of February. First choice right now is N. C.olorado, followed by L.oyola in Chicago, and then dear Minnesota.

3) My MIL has been here since Tuesday. I do like her, but she is my MIL and being cooped up in our loft apartment with anyone for a week can be a bit much.

4) Favorite MIL question of the week: "How is your baby getting milk if you're not drinking milk?" I kid you not. Oh, and she is a retired early childhood/family educator. I know that I sound mean right now, but seriously, are you kidding me?

5) I have "escaped" with AGN twice this week, one outing was to a great b'feeding group and the other was supposed to be a new mommies group, but I showed up late and no one was there. Oh well, we went shopping instead!

6) Somehow I have developed three-weeks-after-giving-birth 'roids. Gross. I don't understand how I could have no issues and then suddenly get them. Crap.

7) I think I am going to go take a nap. :) Maybe this little cutie will join me!

40 Weeks/3 Weeks

2011-01-15T18:21:00.002-05:00

Today is AGN's due date. Wow. The past three weeks have been a whirlwind and someday I will have the energy to write about it. :-) I am having a hard time with having "lost" the past three weeks of pregnancy. I know it sounds ridiculous, but to this control-freak, OCD mommy, it has been a really tough pill to swallow. I love cuddling her, and seeing her face always makes me smile, but I have to admit that I feel like I have not yet connected with her. My prayer is that now that she's actually "due" I will start to open up a bit more.

I am thankful for Snicks, he's been my rock.

It was the Best of Times (Labor Story)...

2011-01-09T21:54:00.004-05:00

Wow! Howdy strangers! It feels good to have some time online again. The past two weeks have been a complete blur and I have been itching to write about it. Here is the story of how little Miss Adelaide came into our world...

Snicks and I chose to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day by ourselves. Going home to Minnesota wasn't really an option given my fast approaching due date and we figured it would be the last quiet Christmas we would ever have. So, on Christmas Eve we had a date night (Applebee's - ick, but we had a gift card and a movie "Little Fo.ckers") and just enjoyed being together. On Christmas morning Snicks agreed to attend Mass with me (AMEN - I later told him that Addie decided to make her move because God was so happy - LOL) and we had plans to do absolutely nothing all day. We napped, did laundry, and opened our gifts. Snicks was packing for his weeklong trip to Rhode Island with the basketball team. He had picked up some movies from the library and, after dinner (steak, sweet potato fries, and sparking grape juice) we settled in to watch "Chaos Theory" (which is highly ironic if you know me at all).

I had been having some stronger Braxton-Hicks contractions for the past few days and SP was definitely settled into my pelvis. I chose to watch the movie sitting on the exercise ball and rocking to relieve some of the pressure. About ten minutes into the movie I felt a strange "pop" inside my belly. I looked at Snicks and said "Whoa, that was either a crazy kick from SP or my water just broke." (7:45pm) I was a bit in denial so it took me a few seconds to get the courage to stand up (plus I needed to hurry off of our oriental rug) but when I did, it was like Niagara between my legs. No joke. It was warm and wet and all over the floor. I started to laugh (I really did not want to go into labor until after my mom visited and helped me finish nesting) and Snicks' expression was priceless.

We called the doula and she convinced us not to call the midwife yet (she is required to make us go into the hospital) but rather try to rest. She told Snicks that it would likely be 12-18 hours before SP was born, so not to worry. Well, there was no opportunity to rest at that point. First, we called my mom since she was planning to drive out to Ohio the next day. We told her to just wait until after SP is born and then have my dad join her. Then, we realized that the carseat wasn't installed, so we called our friends/neighbors; M met Snicks at the car to help with the seat and his wife, C, came up and made some sandwiches/snacks for us to bring to the hospital. The next hour was basically made up of me taking two showers, sitting on the toilet, and trying to give Snicks some direction in gathering the final items for the hospital bag. I was in a fine mood and only needed to focus during a contraction. Then, it changed. (9:15pm)

I was suddenly much more serious and no longer had the energy for small talk. Our friends had already gone home and it seemed that Snicks had things under control. I kept staggering to the bathroom to make sure my bladder was empty (contractions were more painful with a full bladder) and trying to find ways to be comfortable. The exercise ball and toilet were my favorite places to be. Laying down was awfully uncomfortable, but then again, so was standing, walking, really, anything. Snicks tried to help me, but there wasn't much for him to do. I finally decided that laying in bed, no matter how uncomfortable, was the only option I had if I was going to rest. I pulled from our Bradley research and Hypnobirthing practice and managed to make it through each contraction. I also remembered the advice of my cousin's wife, "one contraction at a time". The contractions were about three to four minutes apart and lasting at least a minute. Snicks was still convinced that we had tons of time to go, though, so he wasn't freaking out. He called the midwife around 10pm to let her know what was happening - she was surprised but also reassured him that it would probably be awhile.

Well, SP clearly wanted to get outta my womb and around 11:15pm things started to get serious. Really serious. I kicked Snicks out of the bedroom (he chose to lay on the hallway floor so that he'd be close to me) and went into a place I never knew I could access. I was definitely focused and nothing else could have shaken me from the concentration. I was definitely uncomfortable and eventually began begging Snicks to take me in so that I could get an epidural. He reassured me that I was doing great. Somewhere in my subconscious I thought, "oh, so this is transition" and just kept on laboring.

Finally, at 1:00am on the 26th I told Snicks that it was time to go in to the hospital. He had the car ready to go outside. I wrapped up in a blanket and shuffled out to the car - it was a cold and snowy night. Little did I know, the carseat placement meant that the front passenger seat was up at 90 degrees and rather close to the dashboard. Not so comfy for a laboring mom. He was not sure about where I was in labor and, given the advice from the doula and midwife, drove under the speed limit the whole way to the hospital. I was seething, but couldn't find the energy to even say anything because I knew that all of my focus needed to be on labor. I opened the window a few times for fresh air and Snicks thought I was going to get frostbite. I barely remember that the air was cold.

We arrived at the hospital/ER at 1:45am. We had to do some quick registration (not everything could be done beforehand) and the security guard offered me a wheelchair. I just about bit his head off and said no as I had a "cannonball stuck in my a$$." The registration desk worker called the holistic birth center nurse down and told her to rush. Robyn, the nurse, appeared in the lobby and I knew we were on the home stretch. It took us a few minutes to get upstairs (I needed to stop every minute or so for a contraction) and when we finally got to the triage room I was feeling like I wanted to push. Snicks and the doula came in just as she was about to examine me (Snicks had given the doula the update on the way up in the elevator - she suddenly understood that this wasn't going to be a 12-18 hour labor!). Well, the exam didn't take long as I was already 10cm dilated and at zero station. I had labored to 10cm at home!

We walked to the holistic center and they started to fill the birthing tub (a 40 minute process). In the meantime, I chose to labor on the toilet. The doula probably still has bruises on her legs from me grabbing her so hard during the contractions. I said that I really wanted to push and she asked me if I wanted to wait for the midwife or if I would be fine with the doctor on call. My reply "I don't give a $hit" was all she needed to give me the green light to push. Within five minutes the midwife arrived and the tub was full. The midwife wanted to do an exam and I asked if she could do it while I stood up because laying down was so uncomfortable. She said, "honey, I am good, but not that good." So, I went to the bed, had the exam, but refused to have the fetal monitor. I didn't mean to be difficult, but I really couldn't handle all of the pressure I felt while on the bed.

Finally, I was able to move into what can only be described as labor heaven. The birthing tub really was labor heaven. Once I got into the warm water I felt like I could relatively comfortably move into whatever position I needed to be in to help move the baby down. I moved from seated with my feet up (which would end up being my pushing position), to squatting, and on all fours with no real problem. My contractions actually slowed down a bit at this point and I had a moment of lucidity. It was just a moment, however, and I returned to my quiet place inside. It took about an hour of pushing, 15 minutes of which was "good" pushing, to finally greet SP/Adelaide Grace at 3:55am.

I was able to just hold her in the tub for about twenty minutes (Snicks actually ran down to the car to get our other bags at this time and we had to wait for him so that he could cut the cord) and enjoy her sweet face. She was covered in vernix but she was beautiful. Snicks finally returned, cut the cord (it was very thick, per the midwife), and they cleaned her up a bit. She scored a 9 on the apgar! I then had to move out of the tub to deliver the placenta (uncomfortable, but quick). Nursing was next - it didn't come easily but she did get a few sucks in before falling asleep. Snicks and I were exhausted but too blissed out to sleep. We marveled over every little detail. Finally, a nurse came in and put her under the heater. We settled into a light slumber (the heater kept beeping) and have yet to get a solid eight hours of sleep since then.

Just over eight hours from water breaking to birth. It truly was wonderful and I told Snicks I would do it all over again less than an hour after it was over. The rest of the story will be another post...

I am thankful for the birthing tub.

Pictures!

2011-01-04T22:45:00.005-05:00

Hi! We are home and Addie is feeling much better (AMEN!!!!!!). I have lots of words in my head but really need to get to bed, so here are some pics in the meantime. Thank you for the outpouring of prayers, emails, messages, etc. I think I was about to lose my mind and you ladies kept me in check.

I am thankful for pink!

Thanks and update

2011-01-02T02:40:00.001-05:00

Thanks for all of the prayers! Adelaide's bilirubin levels have gone from 17 last night in the ER to 11.7 at the 8pm blood draw. Her poor heels look like a war zone from a week's worth of two to three daily heel pricks. Since her level dropped below 12 she is not under the lights tonight and it gives me hope that we'll be out of here soon. I believe that as long as her bilirubin levels stay below 12 at the next draw we'll be headed home today. :-)

I am thankful for all of the prayers headed little Adelaide's way.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

prayer request

2010-12-31T21:44:00.001-05:00

Please send prayers little addie's way. Heading to er for more coombs/jaundice issues. Hope its just me over reacting but intuition says its not. Will update tomorrow.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Crying Over Spilled Milk and other tales from the maternity ward

2010-12-29T15:33:00.001-05:00

What day is it? Who is that cutie sucking on my boob (no it's not Snicks)

I am trying to keep a sense of humor as we are still in the hospital with Adelaide so please forgive me for the randomness of this post. She is Coombs positive which has led to jaundice. The jaundice has required that she be in the incubator under "bili-lights" for the past two days. They just drew more blood to see how things are going. The result will determine whether we are here another night or go home tomorrow (God-willing). I think it is scarier to me than anything. The jaundice will go away and she will be fine. It is just requiring a little patience.

So - here are my attempts at humor or just observation from the maternity ward:
- Crying over spilled milk to the point of being completely incoherent is rational at 3am after pumping your tired boobs to supplement feedings

- The "Boob tube" is not the tv but rather either the supplemental tubing or the breast pump tubing depending on the moment.

- We should have packed sunscreen because I am sure we are getting tans from sitting by Addie and the bili-lights

- God bless the creator of mesh panties

- I have developed a great Madonna impression with my simple wishes pumping bustier, nipple shields, and nipple shells.

- I love Catholic hospitals. Prayers over the p.a., mass times announced, and daily communion. Of course communion has come twice while I've been in the shower.

- Speaking of the shower... I was cleaning my lady parts with the handheld shower when Snicks walked into the bathroom. Apparently my expression was a bit too blissful when he asked me how I was doing. LOL

Well, that's all for now. My next task is trying to post a picture! I wish we had wi-fi.

I am thankful for the sunshine outside today.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Adelaide Grace

2010-12-26T22:05:00.003-05:00

Introducing Miss Adelaide Grace....

5 pounds, 14 ounces. 19 inches long. Gorgeous brown hair. :)

(It's still just Kaitlin for now, but C is reading your comments from the hospital!)

It's a Girl!!

2010-12-26T13:43:00.002-05:00

This is Kaitlin from More Like Mary. I am so honored and exited to announce that Snicks and Thankful welcomed a beautiful little girl into the world this morning 3:55!!!

With almost three weeks to go until her due date, this little one decided she just couldn't wait any longer to meet her mom and dad!

Everyone is doing great. Her name is beautiful, but I'm not sure if mom wants to reveal it on the blog. So you'll have to be in suspense for a little while longer.

S.P.-welcome to the world! You couldn't have picked a better day on this Feast of the Holy Family. All of us in blogland welcome you and thank God for your arrival!

Merry Christmas and PB Reveal

2010-12-25T11:27:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas to the Blogosphere!

I had the honor of praying for Beth (and, by default, cute little Leo) at Beautiful Day. Like Jelly Belly, it was nice to pray for the person who had prayed for me this summer. Thanks to JBTC and TCIE for another great season of Prayer Buddies.

Whoever prayed for me must have really been working hard because SNICKS WENT TO CHRISTMAS MASS WITH ME!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU so much!

I am thankful that little S.P. is officially full-term. My only fear is having a stillborn at this point and I pray frequently that my mind will just stop allowing me to worry so much.

Picture Post - Nursery & 36 Weeks

2010-12-19T14:21:00.003-05:00

Because we're all waiting for a baby...

Nursery view

Nursery described

Smiling for the final countdown

Friday Quick Takes

2010-12-10T09:06:00.002-05:00

1 - I am becoming a hermit. Okay, not actually, but I certainly feel like it. My greatest joy lately comes from sitting (or laying) still and just thinking. There is certainly plenty to think about (see below).

2 - Regardless of whether or not Snicks pursues a PhD program, it seems that we will likely be moving next summer. It's a long story, but basically, Snicks' boss will not likely be here next year and, in the world of college athletics, that means that Snicks will likely not be here. The only chance that we will remain is if he finds a job nearby so that I can keep my job - which is not very likely. So, basically, the chance at a PhD + shift in athletics leadership = moving. We love our town and friends, but also would love to live somewhere new.

3 - My last pre-labor flight was last week. I have to admit that I almost cried. I love traveling for my job and it is strange to think that there will likely be a few changes when I get on the next plane next year (United/Continental merger being the likely culprit). Next week is my last work-related driving trip, then I'll be office bound.

4 - CONGRATS TO SEW! Sweet little Hannah is so beautiful and Mama Sew certainly showed her determination (and willingness to share) throughout. What an inspiration. I'll be honest, Snicks and I were slapped into reality with Hannah's early arrival - we've got to finish up our to-do list!

5 - Winter has officially arrived in our little town. Snow has been falling pretty much since the weekend and the forecast has much more in store. Thankfully, we are just on the edge of the "snow belt" so we're not up to our necks in it, but there is certainly plenty on the ground.

6 - My prayer buddy had a big week and I am so excited to continue praying for her. Ha ha ha - there have been lots of "big week"s for our blogging community so I feel pretty confident that this isn't giving anything away.

7 - I pray that I have managed to stave off a cold before it really hit. I felt it starting on Tuesday afternoon and decided to just sleep, nap, drink water, and eat fruit for the past two days. Oh, and then I napped and slept some more. Today, I still feel a little bit like I have been run over by a truck but certainly feel better.

God Bless! I am thankful for the coffee shop next to our apartment - they are so sweet and make tasty decaf for cold, snowy mornings when I feel like I need a non-caffeinated pick me up. Yes, it still picks me up even without caffeine - it's all psychological.

Weird & Wacky Pregnancy Observations

2010-11-29T12:02:00.006-05:00

I have been compiling this list for awhile because there are somethings that I have found to be rather weird, wacky, or surprising in the past eight-plus months. I think I would have enjoyed reading something like this before or during pregnancy. Enjoy!

Belly Button - getting an "outie" rocks. It is just fun to play with it. I sometimes wish it were like the Sta.ples "easy" button - push it and the baby comes out.
Mucus - it seems to come out everywhere. Do you remember pre-pubescent mucus discharge? Well it comes back during pregnancy. It's not limited to the nether regions, either. My nose is like a mucus factory (rhinitis of pregnancy) and even my eyes are getting more "eye goobers". Oh, and drooling is a given. Sometimes it even happens while I am staring blankly at my computer screen at work. Yep, super professional.
The Behind - is quite active. Toots, farts, fluffs, whatever you call them. I was almost embarrassed with Snicks, but then realized it would do me no good to hold them in. Sorry, Snicks. I haven't had any real issues with constipation, but I have certainly broken my usual "BMs belong at home" rule.
Burping - has become my hobby. I think that releasing helps to minimize the heart burn, but maybe that's just me. Tums are a frequent companion throughout the day regardless.
Relations - are more like an anatomy lesson than ever before as accessibility decreases. No need to elaborate.
Dreams - have recently become seriously crazy. Two nights in a row I dreamed that I casually took SP out thru my vag and we just hung out for awhile. I told him/her (I couldn't tell gender, even in my dream) how excited I am to be a mommy and then put it back in. Last night, dreamed that I could see through my stomach and SP's face was like Gizmo from the Gremlins. I wasn't bothered, though, because I figured that goes away before the birth.

Abs - not at all like going to the gym. When those muscles start to split it feels like I have done way too many sit ups. Oh, and then there is a strange numb area in the middle near my belly button.
Hollow - Snicks and I were playing with the belly the other day and he "thumped" it and it came back with a hollow sound in one area. We did it a few more times until we figured it was probably like being in a fish bowl for SP - sorry, baby!
T-t-t-t-t-today Junior - everything seems to take longer. Getting out of bed, getting ready in the morning, going shopping, getting in/out of the car, making dinner, doing dishes, cleaning, you name it. I need to add a half hour to my previous schedule just to get to places on time.
Cravings - I don't feel like I have had strong cravings, but definitely need milk, fruit, and sweet potatoes.
Hips - hurt. That's about it. I have been sitting on a balance ball at work to try to stay comfortable. Also, the Bradley exercises help this a lot. Sometimes I will just fall to my knees and do some pelvic tilts to ease the pain in my hips or back. Okay, I don't do this in public, but contemplated it in the airport this weekend.
Full-frontal - apparently I only really look pregnant from the side and surprised a few passengers on the plane by being unable to turn sideways to let them through. Sorry, folks. No complaints, here, though.

Eating for Two - is a complete joke. In the first trimester I didn't really want to eat much at all. In the second trimester I was worried about gaining too much too quickly. And now, over the holidays, my stomach is squished and I can't fit much in there. Of course, the second person in the "eating for two" party only needs the equivalent of an extra glass of milk each day, so the concept is hogwash anyway.
Beer Belly Syndrome - my shirts are starting to fail me, even large maternity versions. I think I am going to be stuck with long sweaters for the remainder of the pregnancy unless I am at home.
Get on Your Knees - kneeling at church has become a true exercise in persistence. My belly really doesn't fit when I am kneeling and I finally succumbed to leaning back for a few seconds this past Sunday. Who would have thunk it?
Leavin' Me Breathless - SP has started to drop, but before this I pretty much thought I was going to suffocate when I was sitting and pass out after going up stairs.
Cannonball! - lodged in my pelvis. That is what it feels like now that SP is starting to get settled into the straightaway. Snicks reply to this observation "Fire in the hole!"
Boobies - are certainly larger and definitely resemble a road-map. The blue veins are just fascinating. Nips are certainly darker and larger. No leakage yet. Snicks wants to play, but they are so sensitive. I did get a few nursing bras last week and can't wait to be at home where I can let them sag in those bras. For now, I am sticking with the underwire. Oh, and for any busty readers, Brav.ado seems to be most accommodating for these 34H's. I also took the underwire out of one of my chan.telle's and that should be fine for wearing to work afterward.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I believe that "knowledge is power" and hope that this helps someone out there. Or, at least provides a chuckle!

I am thankful for this pregnancy.

A Year of Thanks*

2010-11-24T15:46:00.002-05:00

Oh, what a difference a year can make. Here is my post from exactly one year ago. AF visit, no thoughts of pregnancy, and a focus on adoption (which, I should mention, we are still planning to pursue in the future).

I spent some time reading through posts and comments from the past year and I started crying. I am so incredibly thankful for all of you and for this community. The stories/support/information/sisterhood that are shared on these pages is truly a blessing.

My prayers continue to be filled with hope for those who are waiting, strength for those about to open their homes and hearts to new souls, and continued love for all who are mothers (whether on earth or in heaven).

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Quick Takes (from my phone apologies for errors and no link) - OOPS!

2010-11-19T14:05:00.003-05:00

1 - I am ready to stop traveling. Thankfully I only have two more flying trips planned- one for Thanksgiving and one last quickie to Chicago.

2 - Working for all men has its drawbacks, like when it comes to explaining that I won't be working during maternity leave. Or understanding that I need less, not more, to do right now. This is not the time to completely revamp my fundraising portfolio and expect contact/gifts before my leave.

3 - Thanks for the outfit feedback for our pics. Luck would have it that a few of them did turn out. :)

4 - Blogger gift opportunities are going to be hitting your inbox soon. It's going to be a busy few weeks.

5 - I love prayer buddies and am so excited for ~~Lent~~ to begin. ~~Lent~~ is one of the things Snicks and I agree on whole-heartedly and we spend time in prayer and reflection together. Thanks to JBTC, TCIE, and Sew! OOPS - HA HA HA - I guess I shouldn't go and get my Lenten wreath out, huh? I was waiting to board the plane while I was typing this and I guess more distracted than I thought. LOL I am really looking forward to a peaceful Advent.

6 - Speaking of Snicks. His PhD app deadlines are quickly approaching and we are both feeling a bit overwhelmed. Please send prayers our way.

7 - It's the weekend! I am so looking forward to getting home and having a weekend to tackle all of our projects. Have a good one, ladies!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

We Love Our Midwife*

2010-11-15T15:24:00.004-05:00

We had a check up today with our midwife and it was so nice to see her again. We are continually impressed by how good a job she does of "reading" us and giving us the right amount of information. She is definitely laid back, but if we ask her a question she can go on and on about the subject. Here's the latest:

S.P. has remained head down from the last appointment. The little butt is on the upper right side, head is somewhere "down there", and arms/legs are on the left side. S/he definitely likes to stick out his/her butt throughout the day - lol. I hope that S.P. stays positioned so nicely and have taken to sitting on an exercise ball for half of the day at work. I have also been doing pelvic rocks in my office twice a day. I hope this all helps!
Blood pressure was nice and low (100/68).
Iron count was 11.9 at last appointment (12 is low end of normal) but she's not worried. She said that I should definitely focus on eating more iron-rich foods, especially in the last few weeks, so that my blood is nice and rich at delivery. That should give me more energy afterward which sounds good to me!
Heartrate was on low end of normal (120) and she said to just pay attention to movement. S.P. likes to move it, so I am not at all worried.
We talked logistics and now know where to park/enter the hospital for labor day. Snicks has also managed to navigate to the hospital on his own twice, so I feel good about getting there with him driving (it is really just two left turns and a right into the driveway - but it's twenty minutes away in a part of the burbs that he doesn't go to often).
At the next appointment we'll do the strep B check.
We received all of our pre-registration paperwork to fill out for the next appointment, too.
Although not an update from the midwife, my butt has grown enough to cause my maternity jeans to rip while I was squatting on Saturday night. Oh, well! They are actually still loose, but I guess they just didn't like being pushed to the limit with squatting. LOL

In other news, Snicks turned 32 yesterday! We celebrated with burgers from Fiv.e Gu.ys and a shopping spree for him. When we were choosing outfits for belly pics it was pretty apparent that he needed some new clothes. He also believes that it is my role to make sure his wardrobe is stylish (the poor guy has limited fashion sense) and is willing to spend the afternoon shopping if I don't make it too long of an expedition. :)

Nursery Sneak Peek*

2010-11-12T10:21:00.003-05:00

I have vowed not to post pictures of the nursery until it is done but received a key element from my co-worker this week (in time for the belly pics) and just had to share!

If you recall, I was working with these fabrics for a nursery scheme. She used it to make this beautiful work of art!
I am just in awe and so incredibly thankful!

Patron Saints

2010-11-11T10:40:00.003-05:00

This year I requested patron saints for Snicks, S.P., and me. No, Snicks doesn't really believe in saints but I did it so that I can have someone to pray to on his behalf. Without further ado:

Snicks – Januarius of Benevento (interesting controversy regarding his relic)
S.P. – Elizabeth of Hungary (the great-aunt of Elizabeth of Portugal, my patron saint in 2010)
Thankful – Madeline Sophie Barat (Foundress of the Society of the Sacred Heart; educator)

I am thankful for this blogger to take such time, prayer, and energy to do this.

UPDATE: I ended up talking with Snicks about the saint that was chosen for him. He was intrigued and likes the idea of learning about someone from the Church's history. We do share the ancient Church as the basis for our faiths. We both laughed that there is so much controversy surrounding the relics of Januarius - more controversy = more opportunities for growth, right?

Maternity Picture Day* - Input?

2010-11-10T10:10:00.004-05:00

I feel like I am back in eighth grade preparing for picture day. I had my nails done, tried on eight outfits, am waiting to do my hair and makeup until the last minute (I look like a wreck at work, but don't really mind today), and completely cleaned the loft (I guess I didn't do that in eighth grade).

We'll be having pictures inside and outside (it should be sunny and 60 degrees later!) so I was trying to find an inside and outside outfit. If you promise to ignore my un-done face and hair (and the mess of the laundry closet), you can read on to see the finalists. Of these four I am going to choose two outfits:

Any thoughts?

I am thankful to have clothes on my back.

Two Highs & Two Lows*

2010-11-08T13:07:00.002-05:00

Highs:
1) Had two fun showers this weekend. More to follow...
2) Made it safely back home to sunny skies.

Lows:
1) Snicks just informed me that their scrimmage tomorrow night has been moved to tonight - so he'll be missing our breastfeeding class. He has yet to go to a class except for our doula meetings. :( I am strongly disliking his coaching schedule right now.
2) I missed seeing JBTC this weekend (for good reason, but I still miss her!!!!!).

I am thankful for this pregnancy and know I shouldn't whine about Snicks being so busy. I have a belly, a husband, and a great life.

Thoughts for Thursday

2010-11-04T12:44:00.002-04:00

As inspired by the ladies at Building Cathedrals. Note - this post contains pregnancy references.

What am I cooking? Dinner tonight will be Chicken Parmesan. Last week our kitchen was full of food for the basketball team (they were on break and it is much less expensive to feed them than to give them money for dining out) and we have finished working our way through the leftovers.

What are my weekend plans? Traveling to Minnesota (!) for my first two baby showers. Guess who I am hoping to see while I am there (hint, she has two cats and cheers for THE PACK!)?

What are my prayer intentions for the day? For Ann, her baby in utero, her babies in heaven, and her husband.

What can my children do instead of watching t.v.? Well, S.P. isn't yet watching t.v., but his/her eyes are now open!

What have I done for my marriage this week? Helped Snicks with the grad school application process (emails, setting up visits, creating a spreadsheet of reference letter information for his references). He's too busy to really do all of this on his own.

What am I reading? So That's What They're For: Breastfeeding Basics

What's challenging me lately? Being pregnant and working in a male dominated office/field. 'Nuf said.

Something that made me think? At Mass on Sunday we sang a song that I haven't heard since high school: "Only a Shadow". One verse, in particular, struck me: "The dream I have today, my Lord, is only a shadow of your dreams for me; only a shadow of all that will be; if I but follow you." With two baby showers this weekend for ME I have been reflecting a lot on baby showers past. There was the shower where I drank too much wine (hey, I could, so why not); the one where I went to the bathroom every twenty minutes to dab away tears; the one where I showed up late and left way too early; and the two that I hosted and therefore put all of my energies into thinking about the party, not the reason. Now, it's my turn to open the packages and I am frightened and ecstatic at the same time. This is one of the last milestones that stands between lots of TTC and holding our baby. I pray that in just over two months one of my dreams will be coming true, but it is humbling to remember that it is only a shadow of what God has planned.

I am thankful for fruit - it is all I want to eat and I have been devouring it!

Dr. Snicks?

2010-10-25T20:49:00.003-04:00

I believe that I have mentioned that Snicks has been tossing around the idea of pursuing a Ph.D. Well, he has stopped tossing it around and it going full throttle toward making it a reality. I am very impressed. The poor thing is already incredibly busy, but he is making time to take all of the steps necessary to get into a good program.

He took the GRE two weeks ago and did well enough. The only bummer is that the section he had been doing well on in the practice tests (verbal) ended up being considerably lower than he had expected (490). Some programs require at least a 500 on the verbal and now he's sweating it. His combined score is 1130, so I really don't think it's a big deal. Plus, I feel like he can make up for it with his essays. Does anyone have any experience with this? There are certainly options that don't require a 500 on the verbal and instead require at least a 1000 combined, so those should be just fine.

As for where and what - well that is still up in the air. He has a "short list" of 12 programs and we are planning to have him apply to 8-10. He is looking at either high.er e.d adm.in or sp.ort psy.chology/s.ociology - each would be a very good fit for what he wants to study so he's applying to both. They range from San Diego to Boston and everywhere in between.

It seems that most applications are due December 15th - so the next six weeks are going to be incredibly busy/laborious as we get all of the necessary documents assembled. I will likely do all of the online applications and he'll do the hard stuff (contacting more professors and writing his personal statements/essays). We are still trying to perfect our system, but last weekend I created a well organized three-ring binder with all of the pertinent information for each program. Hopefully it is helpful!

That's about all from here. Oh, and by here I mean a hotel room in the middle of America. I can't wait to get home at the end of this week. I will have an entire week at home/in the office next week. Yippee!

I am thankful that God is working in Snicks and has motivated him to move past dreaming and into the doing stage of getting a Ph.D. Any prayers that you can offer to keep us both positive and motivated would be appreciated! Oh, and if you end up praying that he gets into M.inn.esota, I wouldn't be disappointed!

Lovin' Me some Fall

2010-10-19T19:11:00.007-04:00

Growing up I used to despise autumn - it only meant that a chilly Minnesota winter was on the way. Springtime was, and continues to be, my favorite season as it is full of promise for a fresh new year. Well, over the course of our seven (crap, really, seven!) years in Ohio I have grown to appreciate this time of year. Ohio winters are nothing to scoff at, especially up here on the fringe of the gloomy snowbelt; in fact, come February, I find them to be unbearably depressing. However, the region also has the quirky perk of ridiculously long autumnal periods. So, for months we can pick apples, go on hayrides, appreciate the changing leaves, and make cozy foods. The days are mostly filled with sunshine (please, don't take my sunshine away!!!) and crisp temperatures. Aahhhh...

Here is Snicks reaching for some delicious loot on our latest apple expedition. That means this weekend will be full of cooking, baking, and freezing. Speaking of freezing, I forgot to introduce you to my new freezer. I have been wanting one each year as the harvest season produces its bounty at our CSA, but haven't had the nerve to go out and buy one until now. (Oh, and those cans of tomatoes - there are 12 of them ladies - were a steal at $0.88 each the other day, I couldn't help but stock up).
It's been a l-o-n-g time coming, but I am thankful for autumn.

PS - I appreciated the comments by JB and the Misfit on JB's post and promise to provide a head's up in my posts if they are going to be pregnancy/baby laden.

PPS - Oh, and I am trying to make up for my lack of posts and do two in a day!

Intruder Alert!

2010-10-19T11:38:00.003-04:00

Whenever I am home alone I worry about someone breaking into the building we live in (we are the only inhabitants - first two floors are businesses), managing to pick the locks throughout, and arriving at our back stairwell. Well, this week it happened, but thankfully Snicks was home. Oh, and the intruder has been "taken care of" thanks to this invention:EEEWWWWW!!!!

I am thankful that Snicks is home to handle the situation. I am sure I would have snapped my fingers numerous times just to set one trap.

Putzy Updates

2010-10-13T21:56:00.006-04:00

It has been a crazy few weeks and I apologize for the lack of comments/posting. I am in the midst of a month-long travel fest for my job - trying to get it all in before 34 weeks. Here are some random thoughts that have been on my mind:

- First of all, I am a klutz, truly. I was the cheerleader who couldn't jump and the baton twirler who always managed to smack someone in the middle of the parade. Ah, well. This hasn't ever really been a big deal until now. I have officially tripped over my own feet and fallen TWICE in the past two months. The first time I ended up with a nasty bruise from my knee all the way into my foot. This time (which happened, literally, two hours ago) - here's the damage. What did I do, you ask? Nothing, I was just walking down the street in Ch.attanooga on my way to to BBQ and boom - I went down. I remember thinking "oh, $hit" as I fell (sorry, but I did) and made sure to catch myself on my hands and legs. Belly is okay. Snicks is worried that I need to take remedial walking classes - I think he is actually worried that it is hereditary. :) I am really trying to be careful, but at this point am becoming a bit paranoid about just walking. Snicks also recommended that maybe I should start walking with a stroller - people will think that I am just testing it out, but really it will be like a walker.

- Thank you for the prayers. My friend/co-worker returned to work on Monday and seems to be doing well, considering the circumstances. Honestly, I am a bit nervous to see her when I get back to the office next week. She and I had been joking that I needed someone to relieve the pressure of my new title of "pregnant girl" - and now I can imagine that thinking about it will be painful. She is now the mother of two beautiful angels and most of those around us don't even know.

-I have an outie. The scary thing is that I think it is going to become a mega-outie. I would post a picture, but it's really not cute by any stretch of the imagination.

- I am feeling great. The latest appointment with our midwife confirms that all is well. SP's heartrate is good, I passed the glucose challenge test, and most everything was good. The only issue is that my iron is low, so I'll make some dietary adjustments and start taking iron supplements (and "softener"). I am still on 1000mg of me.tformin, which I am guessing helped out with the glucose challenge.

- Snicks and I are contemplating getting professional belly, newborn, and 6-month pictures taken. Actually, we are more than contemplating it, we have the date set for November 4th - but just received the cost estimate and it made us both swallow hard. The photographer is wonderful and we're in book club together. BUT... geez, we could buy a really nice camera for that cost and just try to make a go of it on our own. The positives I see are that it has been more than eight years since Snicks and I have had professional pictures taken of us as a couple and I would love to farm out the baby announcement duties to a skilled designer. The negatives, well, the cost; do I really want to capture our days as a couple when I am so bloated; will we pay this for all of our children; ugh, the cost.

- And, lastly, here's a belly pic from last Saturday, 26 weeks. There are fewer than 100 days left and I am feeling strangely relaxed about everything. After a slight scare a few weeks ago, I have managed to make myself just chill out and not worry as much about my to-do list. I am even taking a few Fridays off in just to spend time relaxing. Rumor has it I won't have much time for that come January.

"Like a Van Gogh"

2010-10-04T15:12:00.003-04:00

To quote one of my favorite movies, "Clu.eless" my life this past week has been "like a Van Gogh - looks nice from far away but up close it's a huge mess" (the quote is something like that).

From fighting a cold, playing hostess for basketball recruits/team, shmoozing with donors all weekend, arguing with Brett about religion, and then, today... the bottom fell out. One of my friends at work learned that she miscarried twins in her 15th week. My heart is so heavy. She was going to share the fun news with everyone at work this morning... and instead discovered that her babies are in heaven. Please pray for her, her husband, and her babies.

It's hard to know what to be outwardly thankful for right now - but I am thankful that she has family surrounding her today and this week.

"Sick" Still Life

2010-09-30T11:35:00.004-04:00

It seems that most of my office has been fighting a cold for the last week and, just as I started to get smug about having superior abilities to ward off the nasty germs, it has found me. So, I decided to make some art out of it... well, at least a photograph of my defense systems. Oh, nasty medicines that make me feel better, how I miss you...*sniff*.

I am thankful for an unlimited sick/personal day policy at my job. Seriously, it rocks.

PMS?

2010-09-22T10:30:00.003-04:00

I know, I know, it's not PMS, but it sure feels like it. At our appointment with the midwife two weeks ago, Snicks asked about my "feistyness". The midwife asked, "oh, bitchiness?". She told Snicks he should be glad that I didn't have bad PMS before. LOL

Truly, though, estrogen is now dominating my system (I never thought I'd miss my dear, nauseating friend progesterone). My face is breaking out and I am a cranky, moody, tearful mess. My only remedy is to tackle my to-do list and feel some accomplishment when something is completed. Otherwise, just leave me alone.

Poor Snicks is, of course, bearing the brunt of it. He asked me this morning if I could please be less bossy. I cried. Oh, another hormonal day begins...

I am thankful that my to-do list is shrinking, my belly is growing, and our abode is becoming more and more "homey" by the day.

Press Here for Prayer

2010-09-19T13:45:00.004-04:00

One of the perks of my job is that I get to carry around a spiffy phone as I am away from the office so often. Well, two weeks ago I was upgraded to the Dr.oid X and have to say it's pretty cool now that I have started to figure out how to use it.

I have downloaded a few Catholic apps and decided to try something new this morning. I brought it into Mass. Yep. I even used it inside the church.

Of course, I was not updating my FB status... :) I was praying the Rosary with a great app that provided the words/reflection for the mysteries and prayers I am not super accustomed to saying. But, that also meant that I wasn't following along with an actual Rosary in hand, I was tapping each bead on the screen. So, perk = being able to have all I need to say the Rosary in the palm of my hands ("beads", prayers, words, mysteries) but drawback = it may have looked like I was goofing off before Mass started (although I was clearly in a posture of prayer). I also could have followed the readings and Gospel with the same app but opted to follow along in the book.

What do you think about this? Would you ever use an appropriate app during Mass?

I am thankful that the technology exists for me to have great Catholic information at my fingertips (literally).

10 Surprising Things about Me

2010-09-14T11:18:00.003-04:00

I am not sure if these are actually surprising...

1) I grew up on a farm until I was 10. It was the same farm that my dad and grandmother had grown up on - it was wonderful. My senile grandfather sold the farm for a song to a crazy nephew and my grandmother only saw the farm a handful of times after that because she was so hurt.

2) I look just like my paternal grandmother. There are pictures of her growing up and people always ask who photoshopped me in. It's kind of fun. She was an amazing lady and I miss her every day.

3) My dream profession is to be a meteorologist. I love weather and maps. We reduce our cable to basic over the summer and when we turned it back to full cable the first channel I turned on was the Weather Channel. Oh, I did discover that math was part of becoming a meteorologist so I settled on number 4...

4) I have a BA and MA in Geography. No, I can't remember all of the state capitols but I did draw the world by heart twice in my schooling (including major rivers).

5) Of all the crazy things my body does, the craziest is being diagnosed with OCD. It took a few years of concerted effort, but I no longer count or put things in order obsessively (well, at least not all the time). I actually don't mind OCD, it keeps me on task and also keeps our apartment pretty well organized! Snicks also knows that if things get too messy he better stay out of my way until it's all put where it belongs.

6) My favorite color is blue (turquoise/seaglass) and Snicks' is bright pink.

7) I love public speaking as long as I know the topic well. I have spoken at two professional national conferences and dream of doing another once I am back in a profession that I enjoy.

8) I love to socialize but really only have two friends who I would call "best" and we only talk three or four times a year.

9) I am intensely loyal to my family. We may not always agree on things, but I will always "have their back".

10) I love fill-in-the-bubble standardized tests. I used to whip through them in elementary school and junior high and score in the 98-99 percentile. Nope, I am not smarty pants, I just really took those tests well and always looked forward to them. The computerized GRE totally threw me for a loop - definitely did not get a 98 or 99 on that!!!

Advice Needed - SP's G'pa

2010-09-12T09:47:00.003-04:00

Hello, ladies! Sorry that things have been silent from my neck of the woods - it's not because life has been quiet here. Snicks started working from the moment we were in the airport on our way home and it seems he hasn't let up since. I could lament this more than I am - I suddenly feel like a single mom trying to get ready for SP in about 18 weeks - but it is all part of the package of being married to a two-sport college coach. *sigh* That isn't at all the purpose of this post, though.

Snicks and I have come up against a "happy family" impediment. You see, my dad smokes and both Snicks and I don't want SP around smokers. Our reasons: 1) I smoked from the ages of 15-21 and strongly feel that if my dad didn't smoke I wouldn't have been as inclined; 2) we're selfish and want SP to have my dad in his life as long as possible; 3) smells = memories and we really don't want Ma.rlboro to be a part of SPs happy memories; and 4) we don't want to have a smoker staying in our home when they visit (even if he smokes outside - that stuff lingers... I know).

Granted, they live in MN and we won't see them every week, but it still bothers us to the point where we know that I need to say something to him. Up until this point I have just made off-handed comments/exaggerated coughs when he comes into the house after smoking (he only smokes outside or in his truck). I have considered writing him a letter (my family is VERY non-confrontational) to express how we feel. He had quit smoking for almost eight years, but picked the habit back up when he was traveling internationally on a regular basis (I guess it was a good stress reliever) and has been back at it for about four years.

So, have any of you come up against this or a similar situation? Any advice on how to/not to handle it?

Thank you in advance for your input!!!

PS - JBTC, this is not the post I intended to do... that is still a work in progress! :)

Shazaam!

2010-09-02T17:12:00.003-04:00

So... just four short weeks ago I looked like this:

Now I look like this (and need to retire that shirt... but it's my favorite color!):

It's as if a magician waved a magic wand over my belly and said - shazaam - grow! My boobs got a little extra fairy dust, too, but that's a post for a different day.

I am tickled to share a HUGE milestone with Kaitlin - our hubbies felt our babies move for the first time on the same day!!! You can read her very moving story here, and here's my attempt at eloquence: Snicks and I usually walk home for lunch together, eat a little bit, and then I settle in for a short nap while he cleans up. Yesterday he came into our bedroom and put his hand on my belly to say hello to S.P. and rouse me from my slumber. Our little acrobat had been pretty active after lunch so I told him to leave his hand there to see if he could feel anything. We waited for a minute and were about to give up when S.P. complied and gave what I thought was a teeny little bump. Snicks smiled and said "I felt it." To be honest, I didn't believe him. I thought he was just humoring me and wanted to be on his way back to work. Well, imagine my surprise last night when I overheard him telling all of his jock/bachelor buddies about it at our softball game. Yep, I felt so awful for doubting him and them melted like ice cream on a hot sidewalk. What a man! He's so excited and tells me that everyday! Swoon.

I have made it to the "half-way" point of 20 weeks (as of last Saturday) and am loving the ease of the second trimester. S.P. is active, especially in the morning when I get to work. I have put on about 14 pounds, most of which appears to be in my upper arms - ick! I have purged my closet of "normal" clothes and am trying to assemble work-appropriate outfits out of what is left. My former black hole of a belly button is starting to "turtle" out of its shell - and I must admit I love playing with it. We are taking our last pre-baby getaway this weekend to Florida. Snicks' golf season starts next week and rolls right into basketball season, so suddenly I feel as though we are running out of time to prepare! Our registries are complete and baby showers are being planned. We also received our first hand me downs today - a bassinet, travel stroller, and umbrella stroller. Phew!

Although I didn't officially participate in the spiritual bouquet, please know that Snicks and I pray for all those who are waiting each night together.

One Year Blogoversary!

2010-08-22T09:19:00.003-04:00

One year ago I decided to stop lurking on the blogs I had been reading (for only a week or two) and finally start blogging myself. I definitely had no idea what I was doing at the time, but I knew that I felt alone in our TTC efforts, was in the midst of returning to the Church, and you ladies were like a little life preserver tossed out to save me.

After this post, someone asked me why I had chosen a group of Catholic TTC/IF bloggers who were much more devout than I was/am... I have to say that I never even thought about it. In June of last year I had gone to confession and Mass for the first time in, well, many years. My soul was broken from TTC, Snicks was recruiting and gone for the summer, and I knew that something was missing. I was searching for something to cling to and the faith that I found on the pages of your blogs fit the bill perfectly.

Little did I know how miraculous this group would end up being. I marvel at the fact that reading your blogs is like a little catechism lesson, support group, challenge to my faith, and anatomy lesson all rolled into one. I am sure that God is working through the relationships and prayer buddies formed on this network of wires - the miracles of the past year (and those still to come!!!) are just one sign of this.

Choosing to "come home" to the Church has not been an easy one (I am reminded of this each Sunday when Snicks and I drive our separate ways - or when my past life or choices directly conflict with Church teaching) but it feels "right". I do feel as though it has taken me all year to just make it through square one on this journey. The subsequent squares seem to extend beyond my sight into the distance but I will continue to take each step as it comes. All of the difficulties fade into the background each Sunday when I witness the miracle of the Eucharist, though.

The next square is going to be a toughie, Snicks and I are both staring an inevitable conversation directly in the eye... how are we going to raise our children. S.P. will be baptized at the church that Snicks' grew up in back in MN. But, after that... Snicks refuses to allow S.P. to be raised Catholic. No if's, and's, or but's. Our children will be an extension of our marriage, how will we approach this challenge so that they aren't completely confused? How do we show them that our marriage and relationship with God, no matter where we worship on Sunday, is foremost?

I am sure that there will be plenty of advice and support poured out here as we tackle the next adventure - and I am very thankful for that!

See You Again in 2011, S.P.!

2010-08-19T16:59:00.004-04:00

We had another ultrasound today to check out my cervix - which looks great and is measuring 4cm or more which is normal. Woo-hoo. Oh, did I mention that we got to get a really good look at S.P., too? The doctor said that everything looks great - and we couldn't agree more! We won't have another ultrasound, so the next time we'll see this sweet profile will be when S.P. is born.

Snicks and I are hitting the road for a little R&R - so I'll be MIA for awhile. Hopefully, where we're going, our cell phones won't work!

I am thankful for little S.P.!

Prayer Buddy Reveal

2010-08-16T08:29:00.002-04:00

I was utterly humbled to be chosen to pray for Life in Mazes/A New Amazing Life. In my mind, she is one of the pillars of our little blogging community and I felt WAY under-qualified to pray for someone so amazing. It was a crazy month for her with joyous news and unfortunate work situations (seriously, can you believe the woman she worked for?).

I regularly prayed a prayer from the "Prayerfully Expecting" book with my prayer buddy in mind: Dear Blessed Mother Mary, you who are the mother of all mothers, please guide me, protect me, and keep me always in your care. Help me to prepare for the birth of my baby by tending to my pregnancy with care. Please pray to your son, Jesus, for me, that he will grant me the graces I need to become a good and loving mother. Help me to learn by your example: your quiet, humble service, your loving obedience, your total self-giving, and your peaceful inner strength. Help me to offer my pregnancy to your Son, giving him the sufferings as well as the joys, that God's holy will may be fulfilled in my life and in my family. Hail Mary... Amen.

It was great to meet her via her public blog and even more fun because she is showing me the way in pregnancy as she's about a month ahead of me! This season of prayer buddies has been so interesting - I feel like there are a ton of new bloggers out there who I have not yet discovered! Can't wait to read more...

I am so thankful for prayer buddies and to those who make it happen (TCIE, JBTC, and Sew).

PS - I want to thank Beth for praying for me!

Pregnancy Loves

2010-08-10T08:40:00.004-04:00

I am going to take a wild guess that God's plan for the first trimester of pregnancy is to make you feel "normal" and appreciative of the second trimester. It is so refreshing to be free of nausea, utter and complete exhaustion, and fear. Not to say that the fear will ever completely go away, but I am exhaling a bit more each day that the first trimester is behind me. I have a few "loves" right now and thought I would share them for the benefit of the whole.

Favorite medical pregnancy book: Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. It is straight to the point and doesn't scare me with "what-ifs" and worse case scenarios.
Favorite book I am reading right now: The Mommy Book by Karen Hull. I received it as a gift from a co-worker and the version I have is from 1986. It is a "real" look into the first year or so of having kids with lots of useful advice. The author is a Christian and she has a nice section on teaching your children about Jesus. It appears as though this was updated as the Mommy and Daddy Book in about 2000.
Skirts: I am definitely in the stage between normal clothes and maternity clothes. These skirts from Target have been a life-saver. They are stretchy enough to be comfortable by my belly and fit nicely underneath. I actually couldn't find my size in OH so my mom bought them for me in MN (after searching 5-6 stores - what a dear!) and now I have them in three colors. So comfortable.
"Normal" clothes: Snicks and I went through my closet last weekend and weeded out the clothes that I can't fit into or are just plain uncomfortable. I was left with some sparse options, but am feeling okay about it. One of the options is likely in its last week or so of wearability. Here's the dress I am wearing today (sorry it's fuzzy, the lighting in my hotel room isn't great and it's from my camera phone).
Flip-flops: I remember scolding a friend for wearing flip-flops during pregnancy because your feet need more support than that. Hahaha. I am living in these flip-flops - just as I always have - because I just hate the feeling of wearing shoes. PS - if you go to Brazil, please get me another pair... mine are wearing out (and they only cost $6-8 there).
Midwife and doula: I have to be honest, Snicks and I love our midwife and doula. They are such great people and so down to earth. It is just so nice to step back from all of the injections and pills and just be a normal, pregnant lady. Regardless of the type of birth you want to have (natural or medicated), having a doula is like having your mother in the room without any drama (plus the experience of helping women in labor for a job). Not that having my mother in the room would be dramatic, but the relationship dynamic may get in the way of my focus...
Vitamins: In the first trimester the only time I threw up was after taking my prenatal vitamin. I spoke with my midwife and she said I could take two Flintstone's vitamins plus a DHA/DHC supplement (my first doctor actually gave me a scrip for Lovaza for this purpose) each day. No nausea and much tastier! I also tried the chewy prenatals that are available, but their nutritional content was much less impressive.
Nausea remedies: water with lots of lemon (I know, I know, I am a broken record) and preggie drops.

I think that's it for now... I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. I am glad to have this documented for posterity's sake. I can't wait to look back, 15 years from now, and laugh at myself.

I am thankful for my havianas, really, I love them. They really are the most comfortable basic flip-flop ever.

How Much Should We Pay to Dance?

2010-08-07T07:02:00.002-04:00

So, apparently if Snicks pushed for the D.I position that is open he would likely get it. That's great, right? Well, it's not so great, actually, because it would be a VOLUNTEER position. Yep, you read that right, VOLUNTEER. Most programs have one or two volunteers who are youngsters just trying to make a name for themselves. Typically, after a year or two of volunteering you get to be on the payroll.

So, we're back to the seemingly constant debate of what are we willing to do to advance his career. To be honest, I feel like we should just suck it up and do it. Who knows when the next perfect storm of connections and position will come together? But, that would also mean that we would have to be apart (there is no way I could leave my job, who would hire a pregnant lady?) until just after the baby is born (I could spend my maternity leave where he is). So, we've decided not to pursue it.

Thanks for the prayers and well wishes. Someday there will be the perfect position for him and it will work out, I just know it.

We'd Like to Dance Someday

2010-08-06T10:44:00.002-04:00

As in... go to "The Big Dance" - aka - NC.AA DI basketball playoffs. So, would you please say a little prayer that a certain coach in my life gets an interview with a DI program that is looking for an assistant? He has two connections to the program (the only way to get a job in the profession) which is a first! I am not asking that he get the job (which would be AWESOME) just an interview to boost his self confidence.

I am so thankful that both of us have good, stable employment at a great college. We spoke with Snicks' uncle last night and he reminded us that, although we have to leave what is comfortable to find what is next, it is also okay to remain comfortable until the right opportunity presents itself. Basically, don't just leave where you're at with hopes that the next place will be better. It was a nice reminder that really, we've got it good here.

Tuesday Takes Updated

2010-08-03T07:35:00.007-04:00

Hello, ladies! Wow, what a week it has been!!! Here are some quick takes on a non-standard Tuesday because I am not feeling together enough for a solid post.

-1-

Snicks and I are celebrating eight years of marriage today!

-2-

We have an appointment with the midwife this morning. I think it will just be basic, but I am interested in hearing what she has to say about my almost daily headaches and the progesterone supplement.
*UPDATE: The appointment went well. Snicks likes the midwife (it's the first time he's met her), S.P. is still enjoying life inside (HR~150), my uterus is measuring a little large but it's no biggie, my cervix is 3cm thick, which is on the low side, and I am no longer on pelvic rest (Snicks was sure this question was asked, esp given that it's our anniversary). As for the cervix, because it is on the low end of normal, it puts me in line to have a free ultrasound at a local hospital that is conducting a study about pre-term labor and progesterone. If I do have a short cervix I can enroll in the study. Either way, we get a free ultrasound and sit down with a perinatologist. In the end, the best part is that S.P. seems to be thriving. :)

-3-

We spent Thursday - Sunday in the beautiful Hudson River Valley visiting Snicks' uncle. He has immaculately restored an old farmhouse and it is always a treat to relax there. We hiked, ate great food fresh from his garden (on the porch overlooking the picturesque pond), toured the area, and took naps. Oh, and there was no cell coverage!!!

-4-

No additional information or decisions have been made regarding my potential job change. The president of the board has said she is going to contact me. I am still hemming and hawing, but am definitely leaning toward keeping my current position. At this point, I want to sit it out and hear what the board offers, if anything. And, considering I have nothing to lose, I am fine with being patient.

-5-

Here's a 16 week belly pic! So far I have added 9.5 pounds and almost three inches around my tummy at belly button level. Excuse my stoned look in the picture - I had just woken up after an unrestful night of sleep.

-6-

Snicks is finally showing more motivation to pursue a PhD. He is actually telling people that he would like to do it, which is definitely one of the ways he holds himself accountable. I am very much looking forward to moving on with our lives instead of spinning our wheels here.

-7-

In just a few weeks we'll be headed to our favorite place on earth, Northern Minnesota. We've rented a cabin for a week and are looking forward to just fishing and relaxing. Snicks is excited to do some waterskiing, too!

Being the Breadwinner is not as Easy as Sliced Bread

2010-07-28T12:27:00.006-04:00

Snicks and I are clear on one thing, I have a strong desire to be a stay-at-home-mom. However, we also have a strong desire to someday own a home, continue to travel (likely to MN with S.P. for the foreseeable future), replace our aging vehicles when needed (hopefully not for many years) and continue to rid ourselves of my lingering student loans. All of those additional desires add up to many savings accounts (the banker actually laughs at us for having so many accounts, but that's what is easy for us) and also puts demands on our paychecks. My parents continue to exhibit irresponsible spending patterns that scare the pants off of me - thus sending us back to our budget to see how much more we can save.

So, this is all fine and good, except that I am the breadwinner in the family and sometimes that makes things a little sticky (like dough, I guess). This week is a rare, but great example. My previous job was as director of a small non-profit (pittance for pay). I loved the job, but loved it so much that I forgot that I had other things to think about in life (husband, health, family, friends... you get the picture) and my live/work balance was completely out of whack. Not to mention, my Type A personality actually scared the board because they were worried about doing anything wrong and upsetting me. LOL. I was a wreck, but I was in charge. :)

My current job is fine, but definitely not inspiring. It does, however, pay handsomely and I can easily leave the workday at work. So, our quality of life has significantly improved and we are living the "good life"... except that I definitely am not excited about this profession and am frequently frustrated by the lack of advancement opportunities (because they don't interest me).

So, here comes the breadwinner/sliced bread complication. On Monday, the board of my former employer provided the director with the opportunity to resign after an unfortunate incident. He accepted the opportunity to resign and I immediately began receiving phone calls (this is a small town) not from the board, but from two influential people who offered to pay me a handsome salary to return to the organization (they would donate my salary more or less). I was dumbstruck. They said that they would only offer this if I chose to return. Oh, and the board had no idea they were doing this. Geez.

I have to admit, I was, okay, I still am intrigued by the idea. There are pros and cons to each situation but what it boils down to is - what do I value more: professional satisfaction or a cushy, easy job? If it seems that staying at home is not an option right now (maybe after Snicks lands an amazing D.I bas.ketball job) what should my priority be? I feel strongly that this is why women should not be breadwinners (for traditional reasons as well as the fact that it is awfully complicated when maternity leave gets thrown into the equation). Of course, saying this to Snicks wounds his ego, so I keep that thought to myself.

What would you do? Take a professionally rewarding job with a bit less pay and limited maternity leave because it is a one-person shop - OR - stay with the mind-numbingly boring, yet nicely compensated position? I realize that there are many facets to the question, but superficially, really, what would you choose?

Regardless of the outcome, I am so thankful to be gainfully employed. We live in one of the most economically depressed regions in the country (I think we even edged out Detroit this year) and I know that there are many people in our community who would give their left arm to have any job.

Good Things...

2010-07-22T19:50:00.004-04:00

JBTC and I were able to meet up for lunch last week. It was great to catch up and, at the end of lunch, she gave me a super thoughtful gift. You may recall that S.P. is short for "Good Things Come in Small Packages" - how awesome is this!?! It is actually a children's L, so S.P. will be able to wear it someday, too!

The camera angle is a little weird since Snicks needed to be able to get underneath the ladies. I swear my hands are larger than a three year old's. :)

Diagnosis - Not too bad

2010-07-13T15:49:00.003-04:00

Hi! I finally heard from my midwife (apparently Tuesdays are her days off - oops). She said that I have a small subchorionic hemorrhage but thinks it shouldn't be more than a nuisance. I am on pelvic rest at least until I see her at the beginning of August and she can re-evaluate the situation. Although she said "nothing should be put in my vag" I am going to use up the rest of my progesterone suppositories as they seem to have kept the cramping at bay. I think I have enough to do one 2x a day for the next week.

Other good news is that I am cleared to fly to MN tomorrow where I'll be reunited with Snicks and get to have lunch with JBTC! If I wasn't cleared to fly I was prepared to rent a car and drive there. :)

Thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement. I was so distraught, but the fear started to peel away as I read the stories of others who have had similar situations.

S.P. is Still Kicking!

2010-07-12T16:40:00.006-04:00

Thanks for all of the prayers today! Before the good (baby is bouncing around happily inside me) there was a seriously scary moment when the brown spotting turned to bright red flow and my cramps were intensifying. I had planned to go to the u/s on my own, but realized that was probably not a wise decision and my friend C left work to take me since Snicks is out of town again. They got me in an hour earlier than I had planned. Phew.

Here are some pics of little S.P.:

The tech was nice enough (although not as nice as TCIE would be, I am sure - when are you moving to my area? Oh, a girl can dream). There must be some protocol about potential m/c because, although I asked to see the screen, she wouldn't show me until she had a handle on what was happening in there. It was the longest minute of the day... Then, I saw S.P. bouncing across the screen and proceeded to bawl my eyes out with joy. I had just had ice cream (from the hospital gift shop - I needed something to take my mind off of things) and clearly the sugar was impacting S.P. Ha! Now I know why Snicks' mom wouldn't give him sugar as a child.

What a rollercoaster of a day. The midwife should call me later today or tomorrow to talk more about the cramps and bleeding. Hopefully there isn't a serious issue. This also means that I will be able to go to the water birth/doula class that I signed up for tonight. :)

I am overwhelming thankful for all of the prayers directed our way today. I thought the second trimester was supposed to be easier!

Unanticipated Ultrasound Today

2010-07-12T08:14:00.002-04:00

Thank you for all of your kind comments and emails. I am so humbled by your outpouring of support and well wishes. Excuse me for being brief, but my brain is a ball of fuzz right now.

I woke up this morning to a scary discovery. My overnight toliet paper (sorry, gross, but we live by "yellow it's mellow" at night because the toliet is loud) had brown blood all over it. The brown spotting has continued this morning and, needless to say, emotionally I am just hanging on by a thread. I am thinking back over the past few days and am now second guessing all of the changes I have been feeling. I have been feeling period-like cramps off and on for a couple of weeks, but just disregarded them as uterine/ligament stretching. Yesterday I swear I had a fever, but my temp was only 99.1 (so, slightly raised from what seems to be my constant 98.3, but not in fever category).

I called the midwife and she was very sweet - but definitely concerned. I have an ultrasound scheduled for 4pm today and am praying for the best. She said to just lay low today until then. I really wish Snicks were here, but he's on the road again.

I am very much hoping that it is just a sensitive cervix (I had three painful BMs yesterday - wow, this post is full of TMI) or some bleeding from uterine/ligament stretching.

I feel as though I have called upon you all so intensely in the past few days. If you have any more prayers left in you for me - I would greatly appreciate them.

Being Blue and Coming Clean

2010-07-09T18:48:00.006-04:00

First of all, I need to apologize for really being absent for the past few weeks (months). I am not very good at putting my thoughts into words and this has been an even greater struggle for me in the past couple of months. I have been reading your blogs and wanting to comment, but when it comes to crafting a response/insight/reply/words of support nothing comes. I truly feel as though my mind is blank. The same holds true when trying to craft a blog post; I am uninspired.

The root of all of this is that I am struggling with something that is new for me - being blue. I am the eternal optimist, constant cheerleader, never-say-no girl who suddenly has a grey cloud of hormones over everything. I spent Snicks' first two days at home just crying (yes, what a warm welcome) and trying to find a little spark of the "real" me underneath the tears. That is nothing compared to the nights I cried myself to sleep before he came home. I tried to explain it to my friends and they write it off as hormones - plus, I am the happiest person they know, how could I be sad?

The reason I haven't mentioned this to any of you (and believe me - there have been many email drafts crafted and never sent) is because I know that I am currently living out a dream; a dream that many are still longing for in the most soul-encompassing ways. Our years of prayers for motherhood are being answered as I sit here and type - and because I feel blue I feel that it is unappreciative and the slap in the face of those still waiting. That thought breaks my heart - I pray so fervently about this.

The veil of grey has lifted a bit this week as we finally shared the news with our family and friends. Email has been the news vehicle of choice because I am uncomfortable sharing this news in person. "Wearing" this pregnancy is like me slipping into expensive designer clothes and pretending to be comfortable. I just don't get it and I feel like an impostor. I feel like a stranger in my own body and really don't like it. Just as it was difficult to adjust to a medical label of "infertility" (a word that I rarely use because I think it is so inaccurate in many cases - including mine) it is now difficult to accept and adjust to the label of "pregnant" and "mother".

I hope that I just need a little time and to fully make it through the first trimester to have all of this go away. I know that deep down I am happy and still feel incredibly humbled by having this happen. Sometimes I just wish I could give it to someone else as a gift - someone who would be outwardly ecstatic each moment along the way. I thought I would be that girl and am so disappointed in myself.

I do know another reason that my heart is heavy. As many of you know, one of the crosses I bear is being married to an amazing, non-Catholic husband. Since I started my "coming home" journey last summer it has caused an incredible amount of stress in our relationship. Infertility and children (baptism, namely) is one area that it has come to a boiling point on a number of occassions. It is sad, but he was raised to be anti-Catholic and since I wasn't practicing when we met/married I never really knew the extent of his feelings. He has felt incredibly hurt by my choices which breaks my heart. We are still learning to navigate these rough waters and I am so thankful to have an excellent priest to talk with about these issues.

*I realize that by typing what I am about to type I will likely lose some of you as readers/friends - thanks for your support and prayers and I apologize for disappointing you.* Our fertility treatments have mirrored our lives prior to last summer. Namely, we tried two IUIs (the non-Catholic way) in the past year, the last of which was during the cycle in which we conceived. I was open about the first one (last October) but was embarrassed to share the second one except in passing a couple of months prior. I know that it is an illicit means for procreation, but that is really hard to explain to a baby hungry husband for which coital and non-coital means of intimacy have been the norm for 8+ years. The other reason that I was slow to share this is that the doctor confirmed that the IUI was not likely the cause of us conceiving (although, of course, there is no real way to know) but was rather the BDing that we did the days following because my temps spiked/mucus changed two days later than we expected with the hCG trigger. In the end, I know that it doesn't matter to many what the reason is...

I am sorry if I have been living like a wolf in sheep's clothing in your midst. I feel like this is such a gross representation of my failings as a person. Although I have confessed this to God, it has been weighing on me because I have not confessed it to you. You welcomed me into this fold and I know in my heart of hearts that you should know this about me. You know so much more about me than many people, so sharing the unflattering parts is only fitting.

I am and will continue to be thankful for your support, love, and prayers. I pray for your forgiveness.

Hubbymoon

2010-07-02T08:53:00.002-04:00

My apologies for being MIA the past week. I have been trying to overcome exhaustion to get our apartment in tip-top shape for Snicks' return. Now that he is home (Alleluia!) we are spending a lot of time napping (he's jetlagged) and the like. So, it's likely I'll probably be MIA for a little while longer. I am definitely enjoying this little "hubbymoon".

I am thankful for Snicks' arms and how good it feels to be hugged by them.

A Smile that Melts Hearts

2010-06-28T08:19:00.004-04:00

In the midst of all of our prayers about growing our family over the past few years one thing struck us. There are so many children in this world who have loving families who cannot provide for them. We are in a position to help them, so why aren't we? So, we made one of our Lenten goals to sponsor a child.

I did quite a bit of research on the various organizations that have sponsored child programs and kept coming back to CFCA. There isn't a high-pressure sales pitch on their website, the operation is simply run, and they have an excellent rating regarding usage of donated funds. They also happen to be headquartered in a Guatemalan city that I visited twice in high school. The place, San Lucas Toliman, transformed me in so many ways. Never has my heart been opened to love a place and its people so much.

A few weeks ago we received information on our sponsored friend and tears flowed down my face as I read about her and her family. First of all, her bright smile just makes my day. Her home has a dirt floor and tin roof. She has both parents and two siblings. And now we have the opportunity to get to know her, support her and her family, and provide blessings to them. This is so ridiculously humbling it still brings big fat tears to my eyes.

I am so thankful for organizations like CFCA that are linking people in need with friends around the world.

Status Update

2010-06-26T02:18:00.002-04:00

Here's my latest status update on Fac.ebook: "Dearest neighbors, would you like your party to have lasted longer? Me too! It looked and sounded like fun & I truly hate denying anyone their due fun. Next time, please close your windows. It will help me to sleep (in the interior of our apartment with the windows closed & noise-canceling fan on) and not feel like a grumpy neighbor, and let you continue the craziness well into the wee hours of the morning. Thanks!"

When did I become old and crotchety? I used to be the irresponsible, irreverent and incoherent kids across the street (no, not my prouder days, but it sure was fun). I didn't mention on F'book that I also called the cops. Yep. Seriously, if I can hear the music across the street, through closed windows, in the interior room (former storage closet) we now call a bedroom, with a fan on, it's just not at a level that encourages neighborliness. The worst part of this is that I know their landlord well. She's an 82 year old woman and she is as sweet as they come. She has told me that I should call her to come and bust up their parties but there is no way that I could wake her sweet soul up for this nonsense. Oh, but sometimes I am tempted. For now, I will stick to having the police do the dirty work and utilizing F'book as my release.

Okay, now I am off to see if I can find a few zzz's. I am thankful for the quick response of the police dept - they definitely broke their record time on this one.

Known and Unknown

2010-06-23T13:07:00.006-04:00

My brain is nothing but a jumble with Snicks gone, so I am trying to just keep life simple. Poor guy, everytime he calls I cry. I hope I don't scare him off! Only eight days until he comes home. Lord, please keep him safe and bring him home to me. In this jumbled time I thought I would share a known and an unknown.

KNOWN: I have finally decided on a nursery scheme. I had toyed with a few in the past and after another trip to J.oAnn's this weekend found the bright plaid shown in the middle. It fits perfectly with most of the fat-quarters that I already had (as inspiration pieces) and I love it! Absolutely love it! My assistant is a quilitng genius and has volunteered to lend her talent to the project. I am thrilled since committing to a quilt design has been a bit of a hurdle for me. Now, I can just enjoy the surprise! Snicks' mom is also going to make a few things for us and I will bring her fabric this summer. I do want to make a few things myself, but love that I have others who are willing to lend a hand. The light aqua matches the wall color perfectly, too.

UNKNOWN: Snicks and I are committed to having SP's gender be a surprise in the delivery room. However, if my dad's very unscientific test of pickle preference is an indication there is a little boy in there. My dad makes FANTASTIC homemade pickles. The "boy" pickles were his standard variety and the "girl" pickles are his spicy version. There are two little pickles still hiding out in the boy jar, otherwise I am going to have to suck it up and finish the other ones.

I am thankful for the support of family and friends. I sometimes think that other people are more excited about SP than we are!

Let's Hear it for the Boys

2010-06-20T09:19:00.002-04:00

Father's Day. Depending on your situation, this may be a day of strong desire, great joy, or deep pain. No matter where your heart is today, I do think that offering our dear husbands a little extra special attention and thanking the Lord for their role in our marriages is a great way to recognize the role that God has chosen for them (even if it hasn't come to fruition yet).

I am thankful for Snicks - he never ceases to surprise, delight, and be the man that God designed him to be for our family. Thank you, God.

Sunshiny Quick Takes

2010-06-18T13:28:00.002-04:00

- 1 -

I am having a great day! I don't know what is different but I feel great and am not drop dead tired like I have been. It is so refreshing and I am praying that it lasts for more than just a day. I even ate fresh, raw veggies today and loved them! Phew, hopefully our investment into the community supported agriculture program won't be a complete loss!

- 2 -

I like my new midwife. I don't love her, but I like her and that is definitely a-okay. We are going to stick with her as long as everything stays "normal". The appointment was short (the only negative, but I think I need to re-evaluate my expectations) but she answered all of my questions, heard the heartbeat, we chatted about doulas, and she said she'd see me in six weeks. Her nursing staff is great, too!

- 3 -

Snicks and I enjoyed a delightful 34 hours together on Monday-Wednesday. It was so nice to hug him, have him cuddle, and just enjoy his presence. His team went 4-1 in their games, so he was pretty thrilled. I was thrilled that he was jetlagged and went to bed with me (he usually stays up an hour or so later).

- 4 -

One of the couples who were going to move away later this summer have decided to stay! Snicks and I are so excited that we won't "lose" them. They are both some of the most thoughtful people we've ever met and they live just around the corner from us. To offset the joy, our very best friends just announced today that they will be leaving us to move to NC. We are excited for them, but it is so bittersweet.

- 5 -

I am starting to devote more time to developing a nursery scheme. I think I am going to start from scratch, more or less, even though I already have one quilt complete and the fabric for another. My priority right now, though, is to make the newly re-purposed former storage room into more of a bedroom. Although we have a lot of space in the loft, most of it is not bedroom appropriate particularly when I look to a future of irregular sleep patterns.

- 6 -

My "Coming Home" story has been floating around in my head for weeks now, but I haven't had the emotional energy to actually write it down. I am optimistic that it will be written before Snicks returns home on July 1st.

- 7 -

Please say a prayer for the people who have been affected by the tornado outbreak in Minnesota.

I am thankful for sunshine - I am certain it is positively affecting my mood.

Beautiful Music to My Ears

2010-06-14T15:26:00.002-04:00

Before the fun news, let me just mention the nail in the coffin of the bad ob I went to before - I received a phone call on Friday afternoon (as I was about to leave for the airport) saying that my urine test from 8 DAYS AGO showed that I had an UTI and needed antibiotics. WTH! It does not take 8 days to culture urine to show an UTI. Raawwwrrrr... So unimpressed. I am tempted to write a letter to her stating my displeasure - but will probably chicken out.

Okay, onto the fun news: I just heard the heartbeat! It was pretty awesome and such a beautiful sound. The midwife (I am a fan of her, not in love, but a fan) said that SP was very cooperative -hopefully that's a sign of things to come. I am contemplating renting or buying a doppler so that Snicks can hear it, too. Our next appointment is in six weeks, so I can't imagine making him wait that long to hear it.

Speaking of Snicks, his flight was delayed and there is no telling when he'll get home tonight. :( Each minute is so precious with the 35ish hours we'll have together - I hope he makes the next flight out!

I am thankful for a certain chill, affirming midwife.

In My Mind I'm Going to...

2010-06-11T14:47:00.002-04:00

Minnesota! Actually, I am boarding a plane to go there in about two hours. Yippee!

My parents are anxious to see me (although I still look the same) and we are also going to work on details for my younger sister's wedding next April. I am definitely looking forward to being pampered and eating all my favorite foods (well, as long as I can stomach them). I will also have a brief chance to see Snicks' family and that will be fun, too.

Have a great weekend, girls! I won't be checking in (Ann remembers what happened the last time I did that from my parents' home) so be safe and have fun!

I am thankful for Vietnamese summer rolls - oh so tasty! That is going to be dinner tonight!!!!

All I know...

2010-06-08T17:58:00.002-04:00

is that Snicks went shopping yesterday in Vienna. He's steadily improved in his gift buying skills over the past nine years so I have high hopes for this trip. I think I get an extra present since he left his pregnant wife at home, right? I don't mean to sound superficial or spoiled, but gifts are one (but not my top) of my love languages.

I am in a better mood after receiving an email from Snicks (it's always nice to know he's alive) and being able to cut a day off of my trip to Chicago. I have to say, flying right now sucks. I feel queasy each time. Hopefully that will go away in a few weeks because I am in a rush to rack up all of my airline points for the year before November. After taking two months off for treatments I am a bit behind on where I should be to gain elite status again. Hey, something has to excite me about my job.

Okay, this is such a frivolous post. I just need to cut it off here before I start to sound completely ridiculous.

I am thankful for lemon water. Truly. I asked for extra lemons at dinner last night so that I could take them back to my hotel room.

Perking Myself Up...

2010-06-06T18:51:00.002-04:00

I am way down in the dumps today. I keep trying to look on the bright side... but it seems like more of a dull side than a bright side. This is so not like me. So, I have decided to list what is getting me down and then put a positive spin on it - I hope it helps.

Snicks is gone for the next month - right now he's in Vienna without me. I miss him so much.
I have a month to "nest" a little bit without him and will have 24 hours with him on the 15th! Today I am doing all of the miscellaneous laundry that he doesn't get to on the weekends.

My job is no longer fun and I think my bosses are noticing that I am struggling.
I just brought in a $200K gift and had a great time with those who attended reunion. Quality vs quantity. And, I still get to travel and rack up points.

Lingering nausea throughout the day is putting a damper on my energy and seriously limiting my palate. I am worried about lunch with the college's president and donors tomorrow.
It's for a good reason. Nuff said.

I am seriously unmotivated when it comes to activities involving my job. Thank you notes, visit requests, even filing (which I love) are falling by the wayside. I wonder if leaving my chosen field (urban planning) to pursue $$ in this field has been a huge mistake.
I am still involved in planning through commissions and the money we are saving is growing into a nice little nest egg. I wasn't sure I loved planning when I was doing it, either.

How will we survive in this apartment with an infant? Brick dust is constantly falling from the walls, once the nursery is set up we'll have no easily accessed storage space, and it will only take about two more inches in my waist before I can't fit into the laundry room (we have a side-by-side in a room meant for a stackable). Maternity leave is going to be so lonely in grey, depressing Ohio if it means being stuck in this apartment.
Aesthetically, our place is great and we are lucky to have a space (free of brick dust) to consider using for a nursery. Heck we're even more lucky to have the need for a nursery. People will come to visit during leave which will take away some of the gloominess. Plus, I'll be getting to know SP outside of my womb. How cool will that be?

I try to end each post with something I am thankful for - clearly I am struggling with this today. When it comes down to it, I am thankful to be an American with all of the freedoms that are afforded to us.

Am I Defective?

2010-06-03T20:45:00.004-04:00

Percolating Petals had a great post today that deftly summed up many of the feelings I have been having lately (thanks also to Living Advent for providing the great article that P.P. references). I feel like I am walking down a long corridor between two incredible places (fertility challenges and becoming a mother) and, although there are supportive people on both ends and along the way, it still feels a little lonely. There are still so many choices to make and the haunting reminder of where we came from nags me throughout the joy.

To be blunt, I have struggled with feeling defective because we needed fertility assistance. Over the years I frequently apologized to Snicks for having parts that didn't want to work (which, of course, he scoffed at lovingly). Now that the miracle of life is playing out inside of my womb (this fact still blows my mind) I want to complete this part of our path to parenthood with an experience that is renewing and reaffirming. I want a birth experience that doesn't make me feel sick, broken, or defective. Apparently this is harder to find than I had expected.

Today we had our first appointment with our prospective ob. Last night I spent an hour trying to come up with questions for her and my "ideal" answers to the questions. After some deep introspection, it dawned on me that I had never dreamed about having a baby in a hospital. Rather, in those days of my untainted youth, I had always thought I would just squat in a field* somewhere and have a baby. Yep. I know how that sounds. No, I didn't imagine wreaths of flowers and kum-ba-ya, too. But I guess I have always had a prefence for natural birth and haven't really thought much about it until now.

Today's appointment had a glimmer of hope until it got to the question/answer phase. Oh, and then there was the ultrasound. She was energetic and young (check). Her mom is a midwife (check). She doesn't believe in unnecessary induction (check). She has the lowest c-section rate in her group (check). She's happy to let me labor med-free (check). She didn't push tests (nuchal translucency, quad/triple screen, cystic fibrosis, etc) and said they were our choice (check). So, what could possibly be wrong?

1 - Well, for starters, we would have a one in seven chance that we would deliver with her. I don't gamble frequently, but one in seven are not the odds I am looking for when I am in labor and have forged a relationship with a doctor.

2- She is pregnant. This is wonderful for the most part but also means that she'll be out for two months when my third trimester begins.

3- The hospital requires an I.V. I know this sounds pretty standard but I would prefer to have no (or very few) needles involved in labor/birth. I also think that having an I.V. will make me more likely to opt for meds.

4- Her response to my question about continuous fetal monitoring was classic. "They will monitor periodically during the latent phase of labor but, by the time active labor begins I am going to want to be in bed anyway and then they will continuously monitor." Are you joking me? Who said I am going to want to deliver in a bed? It may very well be that when the time comes this is my preference, but please don't tell me what I am going to do. This isn't an assembly line.

5 - The worst was the ultrasound. She rolled in a machine that looked fine, but the image was awful. She also did it transabdominally which, at just shy of 8 weeks, meant that she really needed to work at it to find everything. Not only did it make Snicks and I ridiculously worried but she pressed so hard on my belly that it was red for at least 20 minutes afterward and I was sore all afternoon. Thank the Lord, we did see the heartbeat and she guesstimated that it was between 150-160. Oh, I would show you a picture, but she couldn't print one out.

6 - They can't guarantee us a room with a tub. I LOVE taking baths and can only imagine how relaxing it may be to sit in a tub during labor. I don't think I will go as far as a water birth, but I think that tub will be an important part of pain management. Oh, we may be put in a shared room if they are really full, too.

7 - Did I mention that she was willing to request a test for progesterone levels but admitted that she had no idea what to do with the numbers if she got them. I declined - no need to confuse the poor thing. She also said that I can ween myself off of the progesterone and metformin. Hmmmm... I may ween myself off of the progesterone S-L-O-W-L-Y (like, until week 12) but will opt to remain on the metformin throughout as recommended by the fertility doctor.

So, Snicks and I enjoyed a cup of hot cocoa (and some potatoes and sausage - one of my current favorites) at the coffee shop across the street and processed the appointment. Snicks was most upset with the fact that we would spend so much time with her and it was unlikely we'd deliver with her. I was most upset about the things listed above. But, as a proactive, planning-type girl, I decided to pull myself up by my bra straps and find a solution.

I had heard great things about a midwife who delivers babies at a holistic birth center that is in a Catholic hospital... but admittedly didn't really believe all the hype. Well, I hope to tour the facility next Wednesday night and have an appointment scheduled with her on the 14th! She attends 95% of her patients' births, doesn't use IVs (unless for strep B), epidurals and the like are not permitted in the birth center, and they encourage use of alternative pain management. They also have a tub in each room (oh, yeah!). Oh, and doulas are encouraged. We are likely going to use a doula because Snicks gets queasy just looking at the drawings of female anatomy in the doctor's office. He's just not sure he will be able to do more than just hold my hand throughout labor. Hey, at least he knows his limits.

I am very thankful to have options for childbirth.

*Just a disclaimer. I realize that I have never experienced the pangs of childbirth and have NO IDEA what to expect. I am also not a doctor and haven't seen the worst case scenarios that most hospital policies are developed to address. I am trying to approach this new and somewhat scary opportunity with confidence, positivity, and hope. So, please, if you think I am crazy for going "natural" please offer it up in prayer and don't share it with me. In this situation I prefer to think that I am super woman and that, in fact, my body isn't defective. Also, I do not think that this method is superior to others, it is just what I am hoping to have happen for S.P.'s entrance into this world. Thank you!

Bumpity, Bump, Bump

2010-05-29T20:39:00.006-04:00

So, I have been weighing in and measuring my belly each week and have noticed two things: the hyperstim of my ovaries must be about gone and S.P. is finally starting to make a teensy-weensy bit of an impact on my waistline (like, almost negligible, but still noticable to me). Here's a pic from week 4 (the day we found out) and one from week 7 (today) for comparison (note - I suck in each time for consistency's sake). Note to JBTC - please forgive me for the shirt in week 7 - it's really comfy!I am waiting for my "coming home" posts until Snicks hits the road next weekend. He is going to Austria, Slovenia, and Italy as the coach of a basketball team (rough, I know); then he is home for ONE (!) day before hopping a westbound plane to work at basketball camps for the last two weeks of June. I am definitely going to miss him but am excited that he has these opportunities.

Today, I am thankful for the great summer weather we are having here. It is so nice to see the sun!

The Sweetest Snicks

2010-05-27T21:37:00.004-04:00

*SIGH* I am finally home from my first work trip in almost two months! I typically travel every 2-3 weeks, so having the time "off" to focus on fertility treatments has truly been a blessing. The flight to the Windy City was a little choppy and I started to feel green - which is a first for me on a plane. Ick. Thankfully for those around me, I held my cookies (okay, my crackers, ginger chews, and preggie drops) down. Phew.

I returned home to this:

My jewelry has been in disarray and primarily housed in the old, wooden jewelry chest (middle) that I received when I was about 10. It has been driving me nuts for, well, for years and I recently voiced my displeasure to Snicks. Well, unbeknownst to me, Snicks has been conspring with a good friend who happens to work in a jewelry store owned by her inlaws and, while I was out of town, they re-organized my closet, added a shelf, and then went to town with organizing my jewelry. Snicks even bought the jewelry busts online for some of my nicer necklaces. Isn't he the sweetest?!?

I am very thankful for my darling Snicks. Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with such a hopeless romantic as a husband.

It's Real - Pregnancy Brain

2010-05-24T17:58:00.003-04:00

I tend to be pretty organized and love my b.berry to keep me in line. So... I guess I can only blame "pregnancy brain" for missing my golf lesson a half hour ago. Shoot! I am playing in a scramble on Friday and totally needed it, too! I feel like such an idiot. I am going to go take a nap. I hope the instructor won't charge me!!!

The Next Generation

2010-05-24T11:45:00.002-04:00

So, Snicks and I decided to forgo any creative plans and tell our parents our big news on Friday night. It was handy because Snicks was named Head Men's Gol.f Coach on Friday, so we said we were calling about that and that we had sent them an email with an attachment. So, they opened their email while we were on the phone and it was the ultrasound pic instead. He, he, he. We're so sneaky.

Snicks' parents were hilarious. His mom left before the email attachment opened, so his dad had to call her back into the room. She cried (of course) and Snicks' dad said that he can offer references regarding being a good grandpa (our niece has been the solo grandchild for more than four years). After a few more minutes of chatting with his dad, Snicks' mom came back on the line to remind us to slow our driving down (she always drives under the speed limit and thinks we are speed demons).

My parents were also a hoot. They screamed. Literally. They screamed. And that was about the extent of their emotion. Okay, not really, but they did not blubber on and on like I had thought they would. Later that night my dad texted me to ask if that's why I wanted more of his amazing homemade pickles (they really are the best and I finished off the last jar last week). I think he's planning to ship some to me due to my "fragile" state. :)

Snicks and I jokingly said that my parents probably went shopping the next day and completely converted the guest room to a nursery. We were almost right. They did go shopping, but miraculously my mother was able to hold off (at least that's what she tells me).

This is going to be it for pg updates for awhile. I know there not the most fun for others to read and Kaitlin recommended posting about my return to the Church. The first weekend of June will equal one year since I "came home", so I am going to devote a few posts to that subject.

I am thankful for having such nice parents and in-laws.

Best Appointment Ever - Updated

2010-05-21T11:01:00.008-04:00

Snicks and I just returned from, in his words, the best doctor appointment ever. Here's what we saw:

Fetal pole measuring 5w6d

Yolk sac, great lining, and great placement

There is one (not two) perfect beating heart fluttering away inside of me. I had a hard time keeping myself pulled together and Snicks was in utter and complete awe. The nurses were so excited and we finally "graduated" to a regular ob-gyn. Our appointment is on June 10th.

Thank you, Lord, for humbling us with this blessing. Thank you, ladies, for your prayers.

PS - The nurse just called. Apparently, they didn't need to do a beta today since we saw the heartbeat, but they had drawn the blood anyway. Drumroll, please... 9697! That is perfectly on track - so we are all systems go and full steam ahead.

Somethin' in the Oven

2010-05-18T07:19:00.004-04:00

It has been downright nasty here in the weather department. It was rainy and cool last week, we had a little reprieve this past weekend, and now it is rainy and cool again. It is bone-chilling and makes me want to cuddle up with a warm blanket and cup of tea. It also makes me want to bake!

We bought more rhubarb at the farmers market this weekend and I was thinking of making a cake. But, then I remembered that we are on a bit of an austerity program right now and that gave me the challenge of figuring out what I could make with what we had on hand. Thankfully, I had puff pastry in the freezer, which made it much easier. (Okay, I feel like I am on one of those low-cost remodel shows where they just happen to have a $20,000 rug rolled up in the attic, plus some great artwork, and yards of amazing upholstery material...).

I ended up making two Rhubarb Galettes. One of them is from Mart.ha Ste.wart and the other from Simp.ly Re.cipes. They are both delish and I can highly recommend! Here's the S.R. recipe with a few modifications.

Ingredients

1 thawed puff pastry

3 cups rhubarb, cut into 1/4 pieces (leaves removed - they're poisonous)

3/4 cup sugar

2 tbsp flour

Zest of one orange

2 tbsp minced candied ginger (yum!)

1 tbsp butter

1 egg, beaten

1 tsp sugar

Directions

1- In a non-reactive bowl, combine the rhubarb, sugar, flour, orange zest, flour, vanilla, and ginger. Allow to macerate for 15 minutes (I suggest a bit longer - it didn't produce any liquid until it was in the oven = messy).

2 - Adjust oven rack to the middle and preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.

3 - Lightly flour a clean surface and roll out the puff pastry to stretch it out just a bit more.

4 - Place rolled-out pastry on the parchment paper. Using a slotted spoon, place the rhubarb mixture in the middle of the pastry leaving the liquid behind. There should be at least a two-inch border on all sides. Dot the rhubarb with butter (I actually only used 1/2 a tbsp).

5 - Fold the edges of the pastry up so that the filling is still visible. Brush the edges with the egg and then sprinkle the 1tsp of sugar on the crust.

6 - Bake for 35-40 minutes until the crust is browned and the filling is bubbly.

7 - Cool on a rack for at least a half-hour before enjoying with a scoop of vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.

Snicks liked this better than the rhubarb crisp this past week. This was almost as simple to make and it looks much fancier than a crisp.

Always Giving Thanks

Meeting Mrs. Blondies...

Upside Down Volcano

All Wrapped into One (PB Reveal, Christmas, & Happy Birthday AG)

Menu Monday

Just for Kicks

Back in the Game - with additional quip

Not a Baby Anymore...

Feeling Loved - All because of a Liebster Award!

Jumping Back In...

Catholic Challenge Quiz...

Quick Takes (#?)

Thankful Thursday (1)

Thoughts for Thursday

Restart

Prayer Buddy Reveal

The Power of Prayer

A Whole Lotta... Nothin'

Boo!

Friday Quick Takes

Blogger Meeting!

Giggles

I Am With You

Did Our Prayers Get Lost?

Things I have been Meaning to Blog About

Happy Easter - Prayer Buddy Reveal and More!

We are moving to...

She is My Sunshine

Quick Takes - Heavy Hitter Version

ADVICE NEEDED - Pumping and Job Interview

AGN Apologizes to Prayer Buddy

Plans for Lent

Two Months

Quick Takes (Good Stuff)

The Soc.ial N.etwork

Six Week Checkup

Huggies & Dreft Coupons

Quick Takes

Saturday Post #2

Quick Takes - Saturday Edition

40 Weeks/3 Weeks

It was the Best of Times (Labor Story)...

Pictures!

Thanks and update

prayer request

Crying Over Spilled Milk and other tales from the maternity ward

Adelaide Grace

It's a Girl!!

Merry Christmas and PB Reveal

Picture Post - Nursery & 36 Weeks

Friday Quick Takes

Weird & Wacky Pregnancy Observations

A Year of Thanks*

Quick Takes (from my phone apologies for errors and no link) - OOPS!

We Love Our Midwife*

Nursery Sneak Peek*

Patron Saints

Maternity Picture Day* - Input?

Two Highs & Two Lows*

Thoughts for Thursday

Dr. Snicks?

Lovin' Me some Fall

Intruder Alert!

Putzy Updates

"Like a Van Gogh"

"Sick" Still Life

PMS?

Press Here for Prayer

10 Surprising Things about Me

Advice Needed - SP's G'pa

Shazaam!

One Year Blogoversary!

See You Again in 2011, S.P.!

Prayer Buddy Reveal

Pregnancy Loves

How Much Should We Pay to Dance?

We'd Like to Dance Someday

Tuesday Takes *Updated*

Being the Breadwinner is not as Easy as Sliced Bread

Good Things...

Tuesday Takes Updated